The Human Trap (2021) – Lee Moon-Young.

During a rushed, apparently arbitrarily organised camping holiday, four argumentative protagonists soon find themselves isolated, deep within the icy woods, and increasingly deeper in blood-sticky doo-doo! Falling prey to a sinister scenario wherein a portly/twitchy loony with a big chopper, a sordidly scheming Christian and his no less depraved 'doctor' companion start expressing considerable ill will towards them. While Lee Moon-Young's gory backwoods slasher is somewhat derivative, it is not entirely without schlocky merit, and fans of bloody backwoods horror may still get a kick outta the gore-blasting The Human Trap sporadically provides. In truth, this one felt a bit dumb-ass, especially since all the characters herein are portrayed as being deliberately unlikeable? Admittedly, the B-splatter vibe gels a bit better midway through, and things take an enjoyably 'I know What You Did Last Summer' upswing not long thereafter. While this Korean slasher is mostly blood-basted malarkey, I must confess I still dug some of it, especially when the righteous chunkblowing begun in earnest.

 Klischee (2009) - Marcel Walz.

Bloodied, anguished hotties running fearfully through woods gives me wings, and gore-blasting writer/director Walz provides a delicious example of said titillating trope during a voluptuously babe-stuffed title sequence. In Marcel Walz's amiable Slasher-lite, Magma-hot hardbodies and maniacal axemen come together sweeter than quicksilver lube and excitedly elevated botties! I maintain my adolescent fondness for Halloween Night themed slashers, frankly, if y'all can't get your righteous stab on during the macabre festivities abounding annually on Oct 31 then all is already lost!!! The film's visual appeal is certainly NOT hindered by its picturesque, sun-slaked Iberian vistas. The incidental music is frustratingly wretched, and I kinda saw early-doors where it was all heading, but the energetic performances from the saftig, talented young cast are credible, and it concludes appreciably screamy in a cliched, gore-shredded frenzy. The naff title is intentionally ironic as Walz's indie-slasher is manifestly cliche-mongous, certainly no less so than any other poxy slasher, so, what's one more cliché among friends??!!

 Four Dimensions of Greta (1972) Pete Walker.

'suddenly we were attacked by sex mad hippies!!!!'

Beloved Britsploitation Don Pete Walker saucily presents the inevitably tawdry tale of aspirant journalist Hans (Tristan Rogers)tasked to locate the whereabouts of buxom Teutonic au pair Greta Gruber(Leena Skoog), leading to a fleshly diorama of goofily 3-D slap n' drivel. Of all the Soho scions of scintillating 70s celluloid shenanigans, Pete 'Frightmare' Walker has maintained a, dare I say it integrity, the likes of opportunists Derek Ford and Stanley Long manifestly lacked. Like Walker's superior Cool it Carol, the Gielgud of UK Grindhouse Robin Askwith makes a welcome appearance. Walker is a stolid smut-maker, not an especially inventive one, a meat n' potatoes,or, more apropos, a meat n' two vedge merchant. Murray Smith's script is a dog, but able composer Harry South's punchy score is appropriately bouncy, and Dolly-looking starlet Leena Skoog is a peach! Happily, the appalling accents, pony dialogue, and sketchy acting choices provides one-dimensional nookie Noir Four Dimensions of Greta with far more entertainment value than it actually deserves! Not too sure what the furtive raincoat mob made of the abstruse 3-D inserts back in the day, but experienced today they do little more than induce a crippling migraine, due to profound ocular distress! In this 24/7 epoch of Deliveroo, and ceaselessly recycled grot on Netflix, is it still not possible to credibly un-3-D a torpid titty flick? Hey!! I have nothing against a good mucky film, but 4-D Greta 'aint one of 'em, and sadly, wet lettuce Hans has all the charisma of a loo roll cover. Ultimately, I just couldn't give a toss, and that's the most damning thing you can say about an adult feature.

 Gemini aka Soseiji (1999) – Shinya Tsukamoto.

'Has mother stopped saying peculiar things?'

Based upon an Edogawa Ranpo story, cyberpunk impresario Shinya Tsukamoto vividly presents the singularly bizarre Gothic tale of middle-class ex-Army medic Yukio (Masahiro Motoki), and his beautiful new bride Rin (Ryo), cohabiting rather stiffly with his excruciatingly bourgeois parents. Coping with issues at his home surgery, and his wife's amnesia is not made any easier by the sudden tumultuous appearance of a stranger eerily resembling Yukio, excluding his serpentine, grimly blackened leg scars. Kinetic, stylised, hallucinatory, and at times, deliciously outré, maestro Tsukamoto's macabre ménage a trois delivers a generosity of the director's signature mastery of exquisite high-strangeness! As one might expect, the brain-melter visuals can be thrillingly intense, as Gemini provides Tsukamoto fans with a heady abundance of his cinematographic iconoclasm, with powerful performances, painterly photography, and a deliciously disquieting mise-en-scene, one is immediately beguiled by this lucid, extraordinarily idiosyncratic fever-dream. This ghastly apparition that torments the family manifests itself in a frantic series of memorably grotesque interludes. I have always been profoundly unsettled by the idea of a doppelganger/evil twin scenario, and Yukio's demonic double proves especially sinister! Gemini remains a gorgeous-looking, exhilaratingly off-centre terror trip, one that is sure to elicit wonder, intrigue, and rapacious WTFuckery in heroic doses! I found Gemini's tweaked premise to be fiendishly compelling, and the film's bold colour palate proved no less captivating than the breathtakingly beautiful Rin. The more avid Asian cinephiles will certainly appreciate the fact that charismatic icons Tadanobo Asano, Renji Ishibashi, and Naoto Takenaka also provide expectedly dynamic cameos.

 Missing You (2016) – Mo Hong-Jin.

Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster.

At just 7yrs old Hee Joo's (Shim Eun-Kyung) detective father was killed. After suspected serial killer Ki-Bum (Him Sung-oh) is released 15yrs later, fellow detective Dae-Young (Yoon Je-Moon), and the slain detective's daughter take an especial interest in Ki-Bum's release. This deliciously dark-toned Korean crime thriller is stylishly directed, with robust performances, and an utterly compelling, razor-honed narrative. While others may feel quite differently, I never tire of gritty, vividly blood-spattered revenge thrillers, especially those produced in Asia, since many are strongly inflected with gory horror tropes, Missing You is certainly no exception. Expect scenes of graphic violence, thrilling drama, a fascinating, hugely sympathetic protagonist, gripping suspense, and an absolutely ripping climax! One of the reasons revenge chillers are ubiquitous, and prove so popular, is that so many of us have our own secret yen to rebalance the scales. While the super-sinewy Ki-Bum has a singularly brutal modus operandi, it must be said, he winningly provides for a dastardly, evilly charismatic nemesis! There's a tremendously thrilling interlude in Ki-Bum's apartment which raises it stratospheres above the infinitely more routine Serial Slashers from the U.S. I have always thought the Slasher was one of the more mundane iterations of horror, yet Missing You excitingly proves that it doesn't have to be thus.

 Man in Love (2014) – Han Dong-Wook.

'I wish everything was chicken!'

Handy, but ultimately tiny taters debt collector with a big fuzzy-wuzzy heart Han Tae-il (Hwang Jung-min)has a major crush on pretty, debt-ridden Joo Ho-jung (Han Hye-jin), dutifully caring for her comatose father, he offers to cover her debt if she will agree to go on a number of dates with him. This winning romantic drama benefits greatly from its two engaging leads, a witty,humane script, and sure-footed direction from Dong-Wook. The chalk and cheese lovers set-up references the fast-talking Hepburn/Grant screwball comedies of the 40s, and Tae-il's bellicose exterior belies an empathic nature, not unlike Cagney in Angels With Dirty faces, or Bogart in The African Queen. Refreshingly, the comedic elements are genuinely funny, their fitful romance is charmingly presented, and the jaunty, pitch-perfect score proves entirely complimentary. I appreciated the fact that the plot didn't gloss over his more abrasive edges, he's manifestly a villain, but thankfully a wholly three-dimensional one. While Man in Love has a fairly recent Taiwanese reboot, I sincerely hope Hollywood keeps its mawkish hands off this lucid Korean gem. While I am often an overtly sentimental fellow, I was genuinely moved by the final act, and it's a singular treat to see a Korean Underworld(ish)feature that isn't prodigiously drenched in steaming viscera. All that being said, the kinetic gambling hall heist was pretty gnarly!

 Fatal (2012) – Lee Don-ku.

A meek, sensitive schoolboy Sung-gong (Nam Yeon-Woo), fatally hangs out with an especially invidious group of predatory bullies, who later initiates retribution upon his blithe abusers, who so cruelly forced him to participate in a gang rape of a fellow High School classmate Jang-mi (Yang Jo-ah) ten years before. Not especially unusual for Korean genre cinema, Don-ku's rapier taut, immaculately conceived, stirringly acted, appealingly lensed revenge thriller remains a cerebral, darkly compelling, slow-building emotional gut-puncher. With its rigorous attention to detail, and unhurried pace, Fatal almost ruthlessly draws you deeply into this increasingly nerve-wracking tale of serial abusers, and the profound, long-term trauma experienced by their victims. The stark film can arguably be appreciated allegorically, coldly dissecting the institutionalised brutality of bully boy governments, Big Business, or the military, wherein similar abuses of power are entirely commonplace, those ostensibly regarded as weak are systematically coerced, desensitized, forced to accept the will of those who rule, by any means necessary. The film contains a strong theological core, but I'm always struck by the bizarre fact that monotheism took hold at all in Asia, especially as they have so many infinitely more dynamic-looking gods to choose from? While it is impossible not to feel a profound sympathy for the fragile Jang-mi, whose young life was so negatively impacted, but I also felt that the bullied boy's persistent torment over his forced actions are penance enough. That being said, haunting thriller Fatal certainly doesn't offer much in the way of catharsis, even with no evil deed going unpunished, the bloody conclusion, while existentially apropos, is nonetheless tinged with melancholy. While I don't share Jung-Mi's belief in the supernatural, I very much hope she finds the solace she deserves.