'Terror in Beverly Hills' (1989) – John Myhers.

Hardline terrorists bloodily execute a kidnapping in glitzy Beverly Hills on able crooner Frank Stallone's watch, their first mistake! Routine 80s cheapnis B-Shoot 'em up is given additional heft by smooth due Stallone and B-legend Cameron Mitchell. Shallow, crass, and technically shoddy, its frequent bellicosity should keep hardened schlock-seekers amused! Moth-balled dialogue, bouncy, low-rent synth score, cheapo pyro, daytime soap thesping, conspicuous Pepsi product placement, and a weirdly dubbed William Smith lend Terror in Beverly Hills some additional schlock-tastic charm! Will the beleaguered president (William Smith) acquiesce to the evil terrorist's demands and release 55 of their Palestinian brothers? Watch the gloriously dopey, goof-laden Terror in Beverly Hills to find out, just don't say I didn't warn ya'!!!!! Snarkiness aside, Cameron Mitchell's hilariously hypertensive Police Chief is an expletive, bad-tempered treat! Slicker than a well-oiled whetstone, tougher than whale bone, granite hard marine Hack Stone is a one-man war zone!! 

 

 

 

'The Song To My Heart' (2021) - Paula Elle.

Tall good-looking musician with chronic writers block meets beautiful owner of Tea-centric cafe with a killer smile and prodigious lyric writing chops! Excluding the inevitable 'temporary estrangement trope', the hearts of our two telegenic songbirds harmonize mellifluously to make some beautiful musical together. Often far too cutesy for its own good, the 'crisis' was embarassingly 1st world, and the maddeningly smiley, serially sandal wearing rock n roll pop needed to get his grump on. Frankly, It's all a tad 'cheesy  listening', yet the leads are likable enough and any film whereby the sight of an oversized strawberry arouses paroxysms of pleasure can't be all bad!

 'The song remains the same' - Weirdlingwolf.

 'Love Stories in Sunflower Valley'  (2021) - Rob Lieberman.

This cuddly, earnestly heart string plucking drama stars photogenic Hallmark veterans Erin Cahill and Marcus Possner. Frustrated dogsbody, and aspiring journalist returns to her beloved hometown as assistant to hunky, gentlemanly reporter to write a feature on local altruistic matchmaker. Needless to say, awkward coffee-spilling beginnings belie inexorable chemistry, and true love rapidly blooms in picturesque Sunflower Valley. A bountiful harvest of small-town hospitality, folksy mommy-knows-best schmear, dewy-eyed reminisces, and heartfelt glances over home cooking, warmed fuzzily by sun dappled sentiment! Fine performances, and a lovely location do much to ease the drama's occasional lapses into cloying, love conquers all cliche. I appreciated the pleasing lack of enforced comedy, and don't have a problem with the film's well-meaning, wholly fantastical coda of there's a soul mate for all.

'Dracula II Ascension' (2003) - Patrick Lussier.

The fitfully fun, plasma-soaked, frequently fang-tastic sequel to 'Dracula 2001' is a serviceable B-horror blood spiller with a cool vampire slayer in the muscular guise of kung Fu priest Jason Scott Lee. After a zesty, Hammer-esque intro, there's a bit of a lull until the Spike-like vampire is bloodily resurrected. Uneven at times, and excluding the two Jason's I found the stock characters a little dull, plus it's a great shame director Lussier didn't shoot more of the film's exteriors in picturesque Romania. Overall, even with its rougher edges, 'Dracula 2 Ascension' remains a fun, if somewhat forgettable watch for haemoglobin hungry horror hounds!

 

Love on Trend (2021)- Nicholas Humphries. 

Youthful, aspiring fashion designer Allie (Jocelyn Panton) meetcutes dashing tech guy Colin (Giles Panton) and tumultuously, her lofty career aspirations, and love palpitations coloufully intertwine as they discover they are tailor-made for one other! Sadly, my terminal lack of interest in fashion remains wholly unmoved by Love on Trend, but Allie's amiable boss/chum Kendra (Amanda Wong)is a propah sweetie, and, unlike cold reality, in fuzzy Hallmarkland all of life's travails are amicably resolved in a suitably cutsey fashion.

 Mexican horror rocks!!!!!

The Vampire (1957) - Fernando Mendez.

 

Pretty Marta (Ariadna Welta) returns to her ancestral home, only to discover that her beloved aunt is dead, and the once grand estate is greatly dilapidated. The forbidding atmosphere is drenched in dismal doom, her other aunt appears strangely youthful, suggesting something monstrous is afoot! The blood-chilling horror escalates following the arrival of darkly mysterious Count Lavud. With engaging performances, evocative, eerily cobwebbed sets, a charming protagonist, with German Robles making for a mesmerizingly malign revenant! A compelling, immaculately staged Gothic horror, The Vampire is a scintillatingly spooky South American shocker well worth sinking your teeth into.

 

 

Italian horror rocks!!!!!!!!

'Zombie Holocaust' aka Dr. Butcher MD. (1980) - Marino Girlolami.

Zombie Holocaust forms part of the 'unofficial' Ian McCulloch 80s terror trilogy. This certifiably insane, island-set splatter-fest luridly resembles the sinisterly shambling results of a deranged scientist's attempt to splice together Zombie Flesh Eaters & Mountain of the Cannibal God. Abundant gore, a massively underrated Nico Fidenco score, and the infamous 'falling dummy with the wayward arm' has made Zombie Holocaust a bona fide cannibal cult! Time has been inexplicably kind to this ferociously flesh feasting folly, since the entertainment value, planned, or otherwise, has enjoyably increased since its grisly Grindhouse birth. Now with all its glistering HD viscera bloodily reinstated, Zombie Holocaust delivers the gory goods!!!!