'Against The Drunken Cat Paws' (1979) – Ting Shan-hsi.

This winningly eccentric Kung Fu gem has the purrfectly exhilarating blend of panther-like speed, gravity-defying agility, and feral femme-fighting power! As always supreme martial arts goddess Chia Ling is a delight to behold in this consistently thrilling rock 'em and sock 'em Taiwanese chop socky epic! If it hasn't already, this zesty, deservedly popular 70s Kung Fu classic is long overdue a quality HD restoration. With loopy, larger-than-life characters, killer drunken 'Fu, and wholly entertaining comedic interludes, this admirably acrobatic, revenge-tastic, non-stop old school fight-fest is a propah banger!

 

 

 

'Corruption' aka 'The Lazer Killer'(1968) – Robert Hartford-Davis.

This uniquely British, shockingly lurid, conspicuously 60s take on 'Les Yeux Sans Visage' finds respected surgeon (Peter Cushing) profaning his Hippocratic oath in his increasingly gruesome attempts to repair the dreadfully scarred face of his greatly beloved young wife (Sue Lloyd). Arguably one of Peter Cushing's most singular, multi-faceted performances, his initially reserved, public school sang-froid irrevocably corrupted by his wife's desperate need for the temporary succour of his immoral surgical proceedure. The first time we observe the good doctor violently assault a young woman in order to sever her head for the fleshly ingredients therein remains indelible! Not only thrilling grand guignol entertainment, 'Corruption' is a fascinating 60s time capsule, garish dayglo/Baroque fashions, sleek, open-topped sportsters, hip crash pads, 'wild' swinging shindigs, bizarre beatnik thugs, and a grisly laser-slashing climax, Hammer Films only rarely got this groovy, man! A relatively undiscovered Jewel of vintage British macabre, 'Corruption' is briskly directed by Hartford-Davis, has a gifted cast, with Sue Lloyd and Peter Cushing on truly immaculate form, Llyod's manipulative, increasingly shrill performance is not readily forgotten.

 

 

 

'Tintorera' : Killer Shark' (1977) – Rene Cardona, Jr.

Unconventionally hunky leading man Hugo Stiglitz heads up the handsome cast of Cardona's conventional, yet enjoyably sexified Jaws rip-off that happily includes the vivacious strumpet Susan George! These salty seaside shenanigans vary not one briny fathom from the tried and tested trope of big angry white fish eating folk, but if I wanted variety, I woulda bought myself a family-sized box of assorted chocolates! The occasionally soggy bottomed plot is perkily remedied by a plenitude of tautly bikini-clad bots, and the love triangle of Garcia, Stiglitz & George do their very best to keep Cardona's lusty creature feature afloat! With one's critical faculties dulled by fortified libations, Tintorera remains a pleasingly saucy shark attack B-flick. Highlights include Stiglitz's manly short-shorts, Basil Poledouris's super slinky lounge-y score, Fiona Lewis's sparkling baby blues, a beach paradise locale, and the witlessly cornball-clotted text. Hey!!! a sublime sun-baked Ménage à Trois plus some grisly shark attacks, what more could a jaded 70s Creature feature freak ask for? I shall leave the final summation to rugged/smiley sex beast Miguel: 'in the meantime, let's dance!!!!' Amen, you swarthy, rabidly rutting man-biscuit!!!

'Love bites!!!' - Weirdlingwolf.

 

 

 

'Princess Madam' aka 'Iron Angels IV' (1989) Dir. Godfrey Ho.

 

Infamous Cut n' paste martial arts maestro, Godfrey Ho frequently proved that he was a more than capable action director in his own right. Blessed with a resplendent cast of magisterial action mistresses, director Ho is on excellent, plentifully bullet-blasting form in the persistently high octane, Kung Fu crazy HK femme-fighter 'Princess Madam'. The fourth, fabulously fight-packed instalment is given an additionally adrenalized boost by pitting the inimitable HK Icon Moon Lee against the no less stunning, sinew strafing pugilist Michiko Nishiwaki! Fans of intensely squib-slathered, Uzi-blasting heroic bloodshed, bruisingly super-kinetic fight scenes, daredevil stunts, wanton warehouse wrecking and outrageous vehicular carnage will most definitely want to check out 'Princess Madam'. Tasked to protect Pearl, a crucial witness who is due to testify against her ex, the increasingly ruthless gang boss Lung Siu Tin. Very soon, our heroically grenade-dodging super cops find themselves in the midst of a bravura, bullet-shredded barrage of ballistic mayhem! As a more fleshly aside, there's a tantalizingly brief flash of neon-hued T & A, an especially edifying experience for those of us who are easily appeased by brief flashes of neon-hued T & A!

 

 

 

'Heartland of Darkness' (1992) Dir. Eric Swelstad.

An ostensibly sleepy backwater nowhere town just off nowheresville has been insidiously infiltrated by sadistic satanists. The intrepid local reporter who unearths this bloodthirsty cult discovers disturbingly that the irritatingly smug Reverend Donovan's evil dominion has clout in the higher echelons of Government office!!! Low Budget indie horror gem, Heartland of Darkness is one of the enjoyably rare examples wherein rudimentary acting, prosaic dialogue, gory practical FX frequently provides the lion's share of goofball entertainment. This loopy instalment of low budget 90s Satanic panic is sweetened by tantalizing top-popping terror temptress Linnea Quigley. Always a trooper, Quigley frequently gets her nubile norks out!

 

 'The Supergirl of Kung Fu' (1975) aka 'Zhong Jian Jing Wu men. Dir. Wu Min-Hsiung.

A zestily fight-packed vintage Kung Fu quickie is vastly improved by the dynamic presence of stupendously skull-shattering, sinew-splattering siren Chia Ling (Judy Lee). 'Little Flower' (Judy Lee) bravely takes on the traitorous dogs that destroyed her beloved Ching Wu Clan, reunited with no less fearsome Kung Fu brothers Stone and Mercury, this heroic trio shall righteously avenge the death of their father! No pun intended, but the clearly truncated version of The Supergirl of Kung Fu I saw wasn't quite as super as it might have been, due to excessively choppy editing, whereby there are sections missing, but what remained was still pretty sweet! On the same tip, I must also ad that this edition also had the most abruptski ending of all time, qhuite threw me!

 

 

'Iron Angels III: The Return of the Iron Angels' (1989) – Teresa Woo.

The indomitable iron-fisted trio of Kung Fu fabulous crime fighters once again display their pugilistic prowess in exotic Thailand, forcefully tackling yet another bloodthirsty despot. These preternaturally agile screen heroes are uncommonly likable characters, with Moon Lee being a personal favourite. She is a devilishly cute, fiendishly gifted screen-fighter, a charismatic,incredibly versatile actor who is never less than a delight to behold! Moon Lee fans can rejoice as Iron Angels 3's thrilling opening act gives the luminous Moon plenty of room to shine as she infiltrates said terrorist cabal, assuming the covert identity of a notorious Japanese assassin! The gorgeously sun-dappled Thai locations are quite lovely, our super-athletic agents prove more than a match for the boggle-eyed villainy, and Moon Lee's dazzlingly quicksilver fights are spectacular! This is another top notch installment of the hugely entertaining HK action franchise, highlights include Alex Fong's hard-won battle with ferocious Thai Kick-boxing legend (Panna Rittikrai), and the kinetic, wildly OTT,motocross riding, jet-pack jetting, bullet-shredded climax is sublimely hectic!

 'Ratman' (1988) - Giuliano Carnimeo.

One of Italian horror's deliciously dingy 80s chunkblowers features an indelibly f'd up, diabolically diminutive, lavatory lurking, wholly distasteful deathdealer! No doubt for good reason, it's never made quite clear what's to be gained by creating such an uncommonly foul looking, relentlessly maniacal monkey/rat hybrid? Scientific shits & giggles, possibly? Ignoring the questionable science, I still greatly enjoy the rabidly carnivorous inclinations of this murderous little Monkrat! The grotty mise-en-scene of Ratman heightens the splendidly sordid pleasures herein, like Anthropophagus, the nihilistic/downer aesthetic forms a large part of its splattery allure. The entertainingly lurid plot has Giallocentric tendencies, with handsome amateur sleuths Janet Agren and David Warbeck trying desperately to unravel the macabre mystery of these increasingly bizarre crimes. While no one considers the fact that a retainer and a manicure would have effectively neutralized this poisonous dwarf, there's something ineffably horrid about its disturbing predilection for suddenly darting out of the glooms and chewing your phooken face off! Stefano Mainetti Casio-tastic score is a triumph, voluptuous screamer, Eva Grimaldi is hotter than a Mexican breakfast, and I sincerely feel that this hateful, handbag hiding hybrid should have spawned a number of increasingly wretched sequels! I am aware that Ratman's appeal is far from universal, but this uniquely miniaturized maniac is worth a hundred lumbering Voorhees clones.

'Kiss of the Tarantula (1975) - Chris Munger.

'I woz a pretty F'd up kid, I never felt shame by all the bad stuff I did, the goriest roadkill flipped my lid, and my very first love was a fuzzy-assed arachnid!'

'One fine day I met a pale girl with hair like honey, and when she smiled her crooked smile, my tummy jumped kinda funny! On our first date she kissed me so deeply it knocked me out cold like  a kiss from a tarantula!'

 'Iron Angels 2' aka 'Fighting Madam 2'(1988) – Teresa Woo.

Heroic bloodshed, bravura stunts, and equally balletic martial artistry combine explosively in Teresa Wong's pyro-maniacal 80s HK actioner 'Iron Angels 2'. Fearlessly fighting trio Alex Fong, Elaine Lui, and Moon Lee are holidaying in exotic Kuala Lumpur when they uncover a conspiracy to violently overthrow the Malaysian government. As our heroically ass-kicking agents bravely engage the enemy there's certainly no shortage of questionable humour, wig searingly wild pyromania, ferociously fleet fight scenes, and gloriously gory bullet blasted mayhem! An audacious, non-stop adrenaline-soaked thrill-fest, 'Iron Angels 2' most spectacularly delivers the action goods! The inimitable Iron Angels must call upon their fearsome fight skills to thwart vile communist nemesis Peter and avert a brutal terrorist uprising! Teresa Woo saves the very best for last as majestic martial arts madam Moon Lee's climactic fight is a Bobby Dazzler, and the jacked-up jungle battle remains a bloodthirstily body bag stuffing bonanza of machine-gunning carnage!

'Kung Fu Fever' aka 'Jeongmujibo'. (1979) – Kim Si-Kyun.

'Kung Fu Fever' is arguably the apex of luridly cobbled together chop Schlocky exploitation that pirated Bruce Lee's indomitable fighting legend. Wholly disposable plot finds a colourful assortment of conniving martial art hoodlums conspiring to steal Bruce Lee's much coveted 'Finger Technique manual, and it is largely down to muscular Kung Fu dynamo Dragon Lee to prevent them! Undeniably shoddy film-making is sweetly leavened by plentiful skull-cracking action, and charismatic Karate Chopper Dragon Lee is, once again, on truly exhilarating form! Highlights include some solid Ron Van Clief beat-downs, flamboyant mart art motocross prowess, exceedingly rare usage of the deadly 'Nut Cracker' fist, an enjoyably greasy funk score and, most importantly, no shortage of sinewy skell slayer, Dragon Lee!!!