'Vampires: The Turning 2004 - Marty Weiss.

Tom Cruise-light, Connor (Colin Egglesfield) and his pretty girlfriend Amanda (Stephanie Chad) have their Thai holiday turned to nightmare after Amanda is kidnapped by evil motor-cross kung fu vampires. This bizarre blend of Buffy and Karate Warrior has much to recommend it to the more tweaked B-horror fan. Picturesque locations and sporadic bursts of decent action can't disguise the lacklustre text, and Egglesfield's Abercrombie blandness. The smartly staged fight in the vampire's lair between Connor and benign Vamp Song Neng rocks pretty hard tho!

 

 

'Spasms' (1983) - William Fruet. 

This cold-blooded 80s shocker features a dynamic performance by Oliver Reed, and fang-tastic effects by make-up genius, Dick Smith! The savagery of this Satanic, extra sensory serpent is off the scale! William Fruet's venomous creature feature hasn't lost its bite! And the Tangerine Dream theme is pretty choice too.

 

 

 'She Freak' (1967) - Byron Mabe.

Like some venal prehistoric Kargashian, Byron Mabe's pretty blonde protagonist's lust for money and status culminates in a ghastly climax of biblical magnitude! Once seen, the cruel 60s Carny shocker 'She Freak' absolutely can not be unseen!

 

 

 

 

Dr. Gore aka The Body Shop 1973. Dir. J.G. Patterson Jr.

I dig rudimentary gore FX, shrill organ themes, monosyllabic red-headed hunchbacks, evilly bubbling vats of acid, and spazzy-looking mad scientists with bravura comb-overs, so the goofball gruesome Dr. Gore is, like a no-brainer, dude! For me, this enjoyably cheapnis precursor to Frankenhooker has much to recommend it to sleaze-ridden seekers of vintage trash. It's only a movie, but I still don't like how comb-over played Greg the hunchback for a sucker, douchey move, bro!

 

'Do you wanna haul my ashes?' 'Right on, baby!'

 

 

When Evil Calls (2006) - Johannes Roberts.

This low-budget, enjoyably goofy British riff on cult favourite Wishmaster includes a bravura performance from Sean Pertwee. He energetically plays the tall tale telling school janitor/cryptkeeper with infectious glee! Not all the grisly interludes work, and dynamic French actor, Dominique pinon appears to be acting in an entirely separate film!  Chris Barrie is unusually sedate, and the young, inexperienced, appealingly nubile cast do their breast!

The evilly wish-granting Djinn is a cliché horror clown, happy remedied by a lack of scream-time, but Pertwee's increasingly demented Janitor, and the gory film's trashy, Troma-esque exuberance ultimately won me over! In summation, the uneven feature's appeal is, perhaps, marginal, the more progressive B-movie cognoscenti might enjoy it, exploding warts an all!

 

 

'Rica 3: Juvenile's Lullaby' aka Konketsuji Rika: Hamagure komoriuta(1973) -  Kōzaburō Yoshimura. 

I can strongly recommend the fiesty final instalment in this iconic, fabulously zesty girl-fight trilogy! Heroic, yet ill-fated, Rica's violent saga concludes in a suitably exhilarating fashion, once again featuring some stirring W.I.P action! With nary a dull moment, Rica 3: Juvenile's Lullaby even has a propah brillo breadstick battle, which proves Rica is no less deadly with common foodstuffs than her whirlwind fists! Irrepressible, kind-hearted, brave, cunning, and resilient, this sexy, street-fighting siren takes on a sex-trafficking ring, proving proficient at spearing these vile oppressors with a harpoon gun!!! Kōzaburō Yoshimura's exciting feature has plentiful action, slapstick comedy, dramatic interludes, and bravura baguette battery!!! As always, Rika Aoki is never less than captivating, and composer, Jirô Takemura's bouncy soundtrack remains a highlight!

 'The Face of Fear' (1990) - Farhad Mann.

Based on an early Dean Koontz novel, adapted for the small screen by Koontz & Alan Jay Glueckman, this fun, formulaic thriller exceeded expectations. Fearfully trapped within a deserted skyscraper over a holiday weekend, telegenic married couple, Connie Weaver (Pam Dawber) and Graham Harris (Lee Horsley) are relentlessly stalked by buff, self-aggrandising, luxuriously coiffed maniac Bollinger (Kevin Conroy). Competently performed by amiable telly titans, Pam Dawber and effortlessly hunky Lee Horsley, Farhad Mann's slick serial killer TV frequently delivers the escapist goods. While the familiar plot is the purest piffle, the film's stronger points are the likeable protagonists, with some fine supporting work from Bob Balaban, William Sadler, and a neat-o nemesis in the sinisterly smug, baritone-voiced guise of Nietzschean nutball, Frank Dwight Bollinger. No masterpiece, but a worthy time-killer for thriller fans. No explicit language, zero T&A, The Face of Fear's exploitative elements are batso Bollinger's surprisingly intense kills. 

A couple of exchanges that tickled me: 'If you're in a wheelchair, never pick a fight with a guy with 'Born to Die' tattooed on his forehead!'  'What's this about?' 'It's about blood!'

 

'The Understudy: Graveyard Shift 2' (1989) – Jerry Ciccorritti.

Life soon bloodily imitates art as the stressy director of a low-budget horror film inadvertently hires charismatic loner, Baisze, a genuine vampire to star in her increasingly doomed production! Unjustly obscure, I remain a huge fang of cult indie vamp horror 'Graveyard Shift', and Ciccorritti's engaging sequel is a solid followup. The lovely, Wendy Gazelle is a propah cutie, and her swarthy vampire lover Baisze (Silvio Oliviero) exudes a dangerous Paul Stanley sensuality. Mark Soper, star of cult 80s slasher 'Blood Rage', is amiable enough as nice guy editor Matthew, and no 80s horror film is remotely legit without a noisily sax-slathered sex scene! Thoroughly undeserving of its seemingly arbitrary low rating, this sexy Canadian DTV horror flick is a worthy late night watch for vampire lovers!

'Hatchet For The Honeymoon' (1970) - Mario Bava.

Divorced from reality, John Harrington's (Stephen Forsyth) bloody killing spree is perversely provoked by a pretty girl's pending matrimony! Mario Bava's stylish 70s psycho slasher has this  gruesome-headed groom bloodily tying the knot around the slender unsuspecting throats of his beautiful brides not-to-be! Packed with the maestro's raven dark wit, and signature flair for dazzlingly inventive set-pieces, 'Hatchet For The Honeymoon' remains one of Mario Bava's very best thrillers. Diminutive in stature, but vastly gifted, often imitated, but never bettered, Gialli impresario, Mario Bava remains the king of horror!

 Konketsuji Rika: Hitoriyuku sasuraitabi' aka 'Rica II: Lonely Wanderer 1973 Dir. Kô Nakahira.

The zesty Rica trilogy continues with a boisterous sequel, that is, perhaps, a little less high-octane than the original, but certainly no less thrilling. Rica Aoki fans will find her on wicked form, groovy songs, bellicose fights, and a thunderous, action-packed climax make this an absolute must-see for rabid girl-fight freaks.