Wolf Girl (2001) – Thom Fitzgerald.

Melancholy Circus performer Tara Talbot (Victoria Sanchez) suffers from hypertrichosis, and yearns to break away from the freakshow and live life as a normal teenaged girl. With a wonderful cast, this quirky lycanthropic curiosity is coloured with a captivating array of enjoyably eccentric characters, and an especially sympathetic protagonist in the increasingly beleaguered Tara. Obviously, since this is essentially a horror-inflected tragedy, Tara's happy ever after is gruesomely earned, her bloody vengeance wholly justified. As always, the commanding Tim Curry steals the show, but ol' fuzzy face stole my heart! I was very taken by the story, having great empathy for the carny folk, and I'd love to see a restored version of this blood warmingly adult fairy tale.

“People nowadays are afraid of anything that's different!”

 

 

 

 

 

A Day at the Beach (1970) – Simon Hesera/Roman Polanski.

The charismatic, yet entirely dissolute uncle Bernard (Mark Burns) takes the adorable bairn Winnie (Beatrice Edney) out for a chill, bracingly rainswept day at the beach with thrillingly unpredictable results. Engagingly written by Roman Polanski, and co-directed by Simon Hesera & Polanski, this dark, well-made, strongly acted 70s drama holds up well, and remains a moodily compelling period piece. A little stagey at times, the performances are robust, young Edney is quite charming, and a playful Peter Sellers is palpably having fun with his lavender-hued cameo, and it all concludes in a rewardingly downbeat 70s manner.

 "You don't lose a child like a handkerchief??!!"

 

 

 Monolith 1993 – John Eyres.

A couple of lively, prototypically querulous L.A. Cops, Tucker (Bill Paxton) and Terri (Lindsay Frost) fatefully discover the terrifying truth behind the sinisterly shapeshifting exploits of an alien in this enjoyably noisome 90s Sci-actioner. This neglected time killer has a golden cast, slam bang action, goofball buddy Cop badinage, mild weirdosity, healthy schlock elements and a thunderous climax, giving Monolith some viable B-movie heft. I can appreciate why some disparage Monolith, and, hopefully, they might also do me the same courtesy and regard my earnest enjoyment with comparable equanimity. You say Tomato, I say Clamato, what cooks your goose don't do much for your Gander etc. etc. etc. Patently Low brow, not quite monobrow, Monolith is less compelling than The Hidden, yet the cosy familiarity of the Twilight Zoned text kept me tuned in. Hey!!! No one in full command of their mental faculties will ever claim this specific Monolith is responsible for the evolution of man, but I'm more of a devolutionist, anyhoo!!!

 “Bluebook? Isn't that U.F.Os an' stuff???”

 

 

Battle Heater: Kotatsu (1989) - Jôji Iida.

This captivatingly eccentric, splendidly slapsticky Japanese Horror comedy has Noodles of charm and refreshingly off-kilter absurdity! Battle Heater: Kotatsu remains an absolute must-see for any that appreciate subversive wit along with their exultant WTFuckery!!! The lively performances, vivid practical FX and Iida's nimble filmmaking proved wholly irresistible! I enjoyed it that much more knowing nothing about the film beforehand, and, happily, understood even less once it had finished! I only wish more genre films would confound me so deliciously! There are a dazzling number of inventive, crisply edited set-pieces that lend Battle Heater: Kotatsu a toothsomely macabre Buster Keaton quality. The fascinatingly wayward inhabitants of Kirin Court are a compellingly strange lot, and one might have to dig a little deeper to discover a monster more enjoyably whimsical than an evilly sentient, insatiably man-eating, hungrily kilowatt sucking Kotatsu (heated table).

 

 

Assassin (1986) – Sandor Stern.

A veteran FBI agent (Robert Conrad) is recalled from retirement to eliminate a rampaging killer cyborg (Richard Young) that has gone murderously rogue. This fun TV Sci-actioner remains more than watchable fare, enhanced by a fine cast of familiar genre faces, and I've always got room for one more Man Vs Cybermaniac B-thriller! Assassin certainly isn't a neglected cult classic, but it is competently made, with decent action, and I've always admired the quality character work of gifted Thespians Len Birman and Jonathan Banks! Perhaps, those weaned on a high fiber optic diet of Six Million Dollar Man, and Reb Brown's roustabout Captain America might get more of a cybernetically enhanced kick out of Sandor Stern's 'Assassin' than others.

"Almost every guy I meet is pure plastic!!!"

 

 

Quicksilver Highway (1997) – Mick Garris.

A splendidly ghoulish Christopher Lloyd and digitally distressed Matt Frewer star in Mick Garris's classy, darkly rib tickling TV horror Quicksilver Highway. A travelling salesman is terrorised by a psychotic hitch-hiker, as is revenged by monstrously chattering toy choppers, and a slickly successful plastic surgeon's million dollar hands revolt against his body! A smartly written, inventively grisly, darkly sardonic body horror gag-fest that excitingly adapts Stephen King's toothsome terror trip Chattering Teeth and Clive Barker's fiendishly clever fistful of frights 'The Body Politic'. ROUSING TELLY BOX HORROR GOODNESS!!!!