’Killer Mermaids’ (2014)  & ‘Spring’ (2014)

It has long been said that the very worst horrors are not imagined, but are often quite real. As a great many of our fitfully recounted, far-flung legends fearfully foretell of alien, apocalyptically minded, cold-blooded monsters lying in drear subaquatic tombs for maddening epochs of limitless time! And the truly unspeakable, despotic desires of these uncommonly hateful, crudely unfeeling things are ; foully corrupted entities existing eons beyond the narrow reach of man's understanding, their vastly invidious plotting man's prosaic reason to comprehend! This anciently slumbering, primordial weird, silently dreaming of our inexorable doom, finally breaking the awful stasis of their preternatural slumbering to hungrily harvest the fleshly spoils of our corpse-ripened planet, pitilessly rendering mankind into nothing but ruinous carrion meat for their egregious feeding! Monstrously aroused, these eldritch beasts dragging all humanity into the bitter-saline hell-tombs of their terrible, watery abyss! Now forever trapped within the sinister, subterranean hells of these malign amphibian gods, once suffocatingly submerged in our blackened sepulchre shall our unceasing torment begin in earnest! Modern horror has evolved most wickedly, spawning two as both ’Killer Mermaids’ & ‘Spring’ condemns us all to the labyrinthine, mythically diabolical domain of luridly Lovecraftian, deep sea despair! 

'My cuffs and collars match, smarty pants!'

'L'amour du Lovecraft!'

'I do some of my best stinking in the shower!'

'Can your ex do this, buddy?'