'Beyond The Seventh Door' (1987) - B.D. Benedikt.

When the eerily Billy Drago lookalike, but demonstratively not actor-like, Boris (Lazar Rockwood) is released from prison following his bungled participation in an aborted heist, he fatefully hooks up with his seemingly disinterested ex, the maddeningly delicious, sweet-lipped Femme Fatale, Wendy (Bonnie Beck) who somewhat fortuitously has recently gained access to a key that supposedly leads to her wealthy boss's 'secret room/treasure chamber' that allegedly overflows with unimaginable wealth and brightly glistering booty! With pleasingly brisk exposition, honey-hipped, Wendy and the catastrophically inept thief, Boris enter this crepuscular, multilayered domain, and with laudable alacrity their triumphantly weird, deliciously daft, absurdly contrived nocturnal adventures begin in deadly, treasure-seeking earnest!

My initial keenness in seeing 'Beyond The Seventh Door' was in revisiting the spectacularly odd, engagingly hyperbolic acting of the majestically monikered, Lazar Rockwood, a singularly strange Thespian whose implausibly cool handle is no less conspicuous than his monumental lack of dramatic subtlety, but it is this very autistic overkill which adds considerable 'Bad Movie' grist to this joyfully absurd and winningly implausible tale of an evil plutocrat's labyrinthine castle and its myriad, puzzle-laden chambers that might, perhaps, lead our plucky protagonists to their imminent doom!

Happily, my giddy anticipation of, Lazar's 'acting' proved entirely justified, as maverick dramatist, Mr. Rockwood manifested yet another hysterical display of his sympathetically earnest, hilariously unrefined 'acting', while perhaps not quite on par with his tweaked epicness in 'Fearless Tigers' but still so consistently off-key and stridently bereft of nuance as to suggest that this was some warped satire, the subversive director repeatedly taunting the actors with his asinine dialogue and increasingly implausible narrative contrivances! While 'Beyond The Seventh Door' never quite reached the heroic heights of extreme B-Movie buffoonery, the quirky puzzles were suitably puzzle-y, and it was frequently very, VERY silly indeed! (One can also enjoy a brain-nuking drinking game by having a wee dram each time Wendy inanely calls out, 'Boris!!!???')

'Welcome to my chamber of terror...whoever you are...'  

'With just 6 doors thus far documented in hell, what manner of abject cretin might dare to conjure up a seventh, let alone attempt to breach it? Only, Boris could be such a blithely unthinking man!' - Weirdlingwolf.