‘Satan’s Blade’ (1980/84) - L.Scott Castillo, Jr.

The malefically named ‘Satan’s Blade’ is a low budget, creepy cool, snow-bound Slasher shot in 1980 which, sadly, only enjoyed an all too limited home video release in ’84. Meritoriously resurrected on a restored Blu-ray edition, so that stab-happy sickos could finally experience one of the more idiosyncratic mountaintop massacres since fellow iconoclast Edwin Scott Brown’s no less loopy-Lou loon-fest ‘The Prey’! No one will ever sanely proclaim that the brimstone-born schlocker ‘Satan’s Blade’ is perfect, but its undeniably wacked-out charm, energized kills, earnest filmmaking pluck, and truly bizarre opening gambit frequently make it more engaging than the glossier girl-goring cash cows of the period.

High up in the picturesque, snow-capped Californian mountains, straight shooter Tony (Tom Bongiorno) and his boisterous pal, Al (Thomas Cue) hire a lakeside cabin with their wives, hoping to enjoy the picturesque, albeit frosty outdoor amenities. Having being ominously warned about the grisly legend of an indigenous, mass murdering mountain-dwelling madman, the vacationing couples, and the bodacious B-girl’s in the adjacent ski shack all succumb sanguinously to this maniacal wrath of this vengeful, lake-languishing spirit! This increasingly frenzied knife-wielding lunatic sinisterly stalks the glamorous gash before bloodily delivering the scream-serenaded, cabin raiding slash!

The gamey ‘performances’ range from mirthfully monotonous line-readings to delightfully eccentric amateur theatrics, and therein lies much of Satan’s Blade's indomitable B-Slasher charm. This deliciously lurid admixture of garish ineptitude and righteous blood-spillage making it devilishly rewatchable! While it’s an outrageously dumb, occasionally static slasher, it’s also frequently fabulous! Bluntly put, this is the real deal, not merely some cynical, retrograde cash grab, since the director, while inexperienced, clearly aimed to make a legitimate horror film. Satan's Blade finally wins you over with its bravura, blood-spattered enthusiasm. The eerie dream sequence is an especially potent pulse-quickening freak out, and the plethora of unintentional gaffes and uproariously absurdist dialogue giddily elevate ‘Satan’s Blade’ to that of a seminal, idiot savant 80s slasher classic!

 

 

 

 

 

  

‘Most mountain ranges have freaky folk legends...this legendary freak kill’s folk!’ Krissy Karnage / VideoViXXXens.