Death Train (1993) – David Jackson.

With monomaniacal intensity, steely Soviet General Konstatin Benin (Christopher Lee) slyly recruits fellow maniac (Ted Levine) to hijack a German train loaded with a bespoke nuclear device. So far, so Seagal, but stalwart goodies Alexandra Paul, and Pierce Brosnan really do struggle to derail his monstrous plan, whereas the chunky Crapkidoist would have done it in half the time, and bedded the milkiest honey baby in town! This locomotive, rainy afternoon action-thriller is given an almighty kick in the bottom by Christopher Lee's authoritatively sinister vibes, and twitchy Ted Levine's increasingly volatile Klaus Kinski-ness provided for a deliciously unhinged nemesis! In this specific instance, I sided unanimously with the villains, far more charismatic than the vanilla heroes, but the ever-mellifluous Patrick Stewart proved to be a wholly credible guvnor. Death Train remains enormous escapist fun, though hampered by a tepid hero, and an equally insipid score, I'd still give this boisterous B-Movie Bond an A- for effort! Anything with Christopher Lee has palpable merit, and to this very day, I maintain a biased, acutely childlike appreciation of films set upon trains.