Cryptic Plasm (2015) – Brian Paulin.

The entirely subjective notion that the film's eminently metal moniker sounded like a Voivod song title, kinda hooked me big-time! Spookily anomalous events, jerkily documented by a pair of crypto-hunters turn out to be far more sinister than they could have imagined. X-Files, Lovecraft, and E.C comics have certainly provided grist for indie horror-maker Brian Paulin's talky, low budget, but mostly satisfying S.O.V Sci-shocker. The realm of S.O.V splatter is arguably more diverse than many would have you believe, and Cryptic Plasm is more ambitious than most, and those attuned to the esoteric dogma's of UFO Files/Ancient Aliens/Alien Corridors will appreciate the Crypto-Bismal chattering, than others who are not so sympathetic to Grey-lore. Performances are okay-ish, and plainly hampered by meagre funds, Cryptic Plasm successfully manages to generate some gory, gloopily fun Creature Feature spook-outs! While some more judicious editing would have been welcome, the film makers are to be heartily congratulated on the propulsively gruesome, spectacularly slime-slathered crescendo of painfully caustic, body annihilating galactic goo in the thrillingly gruesome climax!

Worm holes are wholly innocent of any wrong doing, and I earnestly wish folk would just leave them be, and not incessantly blame them for all of life's weird, extra curricular shenanigans, Worm Holes are benign entities, and are in no way responsible for the tawdry films of Blum House, or Eli Roth. I love the delicious incongruity of the line: 'David!!!??? DAVID!!!!???? are you alright????!!!' frantically delivered to a shambling, undeniably ruinous-looking wretch who looked as though he had only just recently been violently passed through the hyper-corrosive rectum of 'the Goat of Mendes...the Devil himself!!!!' In closing, I'd very much like to believe that the astonishingly chunk-blowing sequence in the cellar was in part a loving tribute to Deadly Spawn and The Incredible Melting Man.