Cathy's Curse (1977) – Eddy Matalon.

'Go on! You filthy female cow, make us laugh!!!!'

A family move into the father's (Alan Scarfe) ostentatious ancestral abode, his high-anxiety wife (Beverly Murray), still traumatized from a recent tragedy, and their only child, blonde moppet Cathy (Randi Allen), who immediately proceeds to brattishly spook-out all in sundry with her hellaciously skeevey doll in deliciously fromage-laden French Canadian creeper Cathy's Curse. Steeped with such overripe ingredients as these can have a tendency to spoil over time, happily, the lengthy maturation process has galvanized the inherent kitschy kookiness, the crudamentary FX, and mirthsome mock melodrama, making Cathy's Curse an enjoyable, creaky-creepy, supernaturally-inflected soap opera to cherish! There's some especially flavoursome dialogue, delivered over earnestly by over eager actors, providing a splendour of unplanned hilarity! Two of the most endearing characters are shambling dipso gardener Paul, who bares a distractingly uncanny likeness to Fleetwood Mac Drummer, Mick Fleetwood, and a blandly inauthentic medium, her sterile lines delivered with all the dynamism of a congealed omelette, her confrontation with a tweaked grammie Clampett is B-Movie gold! All too few film-makers can resist recycling the water into blood gag, but Cathy's Curse had the chutzpah to up the ante, by queasily throwing in an additional fistful of yucky-sucky leeches!

 Switchblade Sisters aka The Jezebels (1975) – Jack Hill.

'We are the Jezebels!!!!! get in our way, and the very next sound you'll hear will be the shrilling of Hell's Belles!!! We are red hot Switchblade mamas, our kill count is higher than Jeffrey Dahmer's!!! Remember the name, cuz' when we bust outta jail, your total annihilation shall be our very first game!!!!'

 Mercenaries (2011) – Paris Leonti.

Bosnian premier and his family are assassinated during a bloody military coup masterminded by cliched bad guy Olodan Crackedoneoff, and a squad of not altogether convincing mercenaries are then tasked to seize the blandly despotic Crackedoneoff, and secure the American hostages. Mercenaries is a low budget, Sub-Seagal shoot 'em up, the drear dialogue, unexciting mise-en-scene, and disposable, wafter-thin characters are pulled straight from a Warlord comic strip. The money spent on CGI blood hits, prodigious muzzle-flare, glitzy hitman sunglasses, and Billy Zane's wig, might have been better utilized by paying someone who can actually write decent banter. Billy Zane recycles his detached, I'm in an Asylum Sci-fi disaster movie shtick, while amusingly snarky Vas Blackwood initially looked as though he might have been one of the more interesting characters, was the first to snuff it, and all the interminable scenes of anonymous military types milling about in a forest frequently recalled a Unit-era episode of vintage Dr. Who. As a fan of gung-ho military B-action, I stoically stuck with Mercenaries until the bitter, soggy end, and it struck me again, all Seagal naysayers are, perhaps, a trifle biased, since routine DTV actioners WITHOUT the Behemoth of Biffology are far less fun to watch!

 P.O.W : The Escape (1986) – Gideon Amir.

'Everybody goes home is a slogan, not a religion!'

David Carradine, Steve James, and Mako star in Golan-Globus gem P.O.W : The Escape, an entertainingly boisterous 80s Namsploitation about gritty Colonel Cooper's (Carradine) one man's dogged mission to free captured GI's. While the stock text is strictly trope city, the lively cast prove credible, with Carradine on commandingly steely form as the righteously resolute colonel. I don't believe that I have ever seen an action/martial arts feature starring Steve James wherein he doesn't deliver 100%, and P.O.W : The Escape is certainly no exception! This thunderous actioner's Gung ho credentials are manifestly on point, providing plentiful gun play, bodacious pyro, along with all the requisite, sweatily imperilled GI's, gorily blasting their way through a sweltering Jungle inferno. The more avid Namsploitation addicts should be all over this like hot stink on a Hanoi hooker, and B-fans who can dig a formulaic, competently made, slam bang shoot 'em up will find P.O.W : The Escape a pretty solid effort. I appreciated the fact that the director rarely took his foot off the gas, really gunning it during the blazingly grenade-garlanded, hell-or-glory finale, whereupon an expanse of the lushly picturesque Philippines is quite literally consumed within a monstrous fireball of white-hot pyrotechnics, semper fidelis, dude!

 Commandos (1968) - Armando Crispino.

'so long, Rommel, and tanks for all the memories!'

This terrifically rousing Italian WW2 actioner benefits hugely from its charismatic international cast, a well crafted, engagingly terse screenplay, and powerful direction from the more than capable genre master Armando Crispino. Greenhorn captain (John Kelly) executes his audacious plan to infiltrate an Italian desert outpost with a rough-hewn commando unit, headed by a resentful, and increasingly suspicious Sullivan (Van Cleef). Crispino successfully maintains suspense throughout, ably orchestrating explosive action sequences, alongside measured moments of enormous pathos, including yet another exemplary, cold-steel performance from the iconic Lee Van Cleef as the seasoned, deeply traumatized veteran Sullivan. Much has already been documented about the profound impact of the Italian western on genre cinema, but their no less brutally efficient take on bombastic WW2-era action thrillers have frequently proved to be no less exhilarating. Commandos is a boisterous, bazooka-blasting B-Movie gem, Armando Crispino's dynamic desert storm remains a barnstorming treat for military action addicts. Excitingly, maestro Crispino goes all out for his spectacularly bloody, take no prisoners, memorably body bag-stuffed climax! Not only is Commandos well worth watching when it turns up on the telly, cineastes, and euro-cultists alike will find it to be an eminently worthwhile addition to their film collection.

 Meatcleaver Massacre (1976) – Evan Lee.

Four murderous suburban misfits break into noted occultist Professor Cantrell's luxurious abode, and once inside, they brutally, unthinkingly slay all the occupants, and the comatose, only barely sentient professor resists, vengefully calling upon ancient demon Morak to avenge him! Owing a debt to ozploitation gem Patrick, this low budget, appealingly loopy, frequently hallucinatory admixture of demonic, Manson-esque mayhem, and grainy L.A sleaze, remains a bloody, frequently entertaining example of 70s indie horror eccentricity. While Meatcleaver Massacre aka Professor Cantrell's Messiah is not one of the more immediately recognisable 70s blood-spillers, like Scream Bloody Murder, Axe, or Three on a Meathook it has deservedly been rediscovered through ransom midnight TV screenings, dubious DVD/DVD-R releases, enthusiastic online praise, Meatcleaver Massacre finally lands an unexpectedly handsome-looking Blu-ray release. While the projects multiple production woes are occasionally self-evident, much of the inherently goofy supernatural premise remains intact, with legendary icon Christopher Lee's doom-laden intro/outro lending an additionally portentous patina of deliciously contrived exploitation ballyhoo. The 'enthusiastic' performances, bravura guerilla film-making antics, and inventive kills are, for me, no small part of Meatcleaver Massacre's continued B-Slasher relevance!

 Fanny Hill (1964) – Russ Meyer.

I adore these expertly ribald jollifications by renowned master eroticist Russ Meyer. Shapely young Fanny had a juicy pair of dumplings, and in betwixt her silken sheets, she'd never miss a trick, always enjoying a generous portion of my delicious spotted dick!