'Motel of Fear' (aka) 'L'ultima Chance' (1973) - Maurizio Lucidi.

For reasons wholly obscure, and not just a trifle baffling, most appraisals of Maurizio Lucidi's profoundly entertaining Poliziottesco, 'Motel of Fear' (aka) 'L'ultima Chance' (1973) are somewhat lukewarm affairs. This is a dismissive reading I happily don't share, since Lucidi's electric, jewel-heisting, dangerously double dealing thriller remains a prime example of punchy Italian exploitation. Featuring solid performances from two legitimate icons, the eternally sleek and moistly fabulous, Fabio Testi, and inimitable Eli Wallach, playing a querulous pair of ill-matched jewel thieves on the lam, who discover to their considerable chagrin that hot rocks and a hotter blonde are too much for them to handle! 

Tougher than a butcher's stropping belt, 'L'ultima Chance' is all about the glacial machinations of hard-nosed wise guy, Joe (Eli Wallach), and slickly scheming, funky-looking baller, Floyd, played with a singular machismo by the tremendously testicular tearaway, Testi! The hopped up hoods fretful flight to the Stateline Motel is propelled by robust filmmaking, and a booty-boppin' deluge of righteously funky 'action-riffs' from the funk-master general of B-Movie cool, Luis Bacalov! While much of the amusingly pulpy narrative feels overly familiar, its reliance on bellicose, bullet-blasted poliziotteschi clichés is manifestly part of its enduring appeal. 'Stateline Motel' is well worth a visit, the decor's a bit dingy, but who cares about the skeevey upholstery when you can eyeball dazzling screen sirens, Barbara Bach & Ursula Andress? 

 

 

'Ditch the Dolly and clamp ya' meat-hooks on these hooters, Andress!'

'Red Wine's a crime, stick with Vodka lime!'

'I'd go but ya' standing on my goddamn hair, Testi!'

'I 'aint gonna lie, hotties give up the sweet-stuff when this face rolls into town!'

'Aye! It's a small gun, but you're a piss-ant guy, Joe!'