‘Samurai Cop’ (1991) – Amir Shervan.

Trash movie nirvana is certainly no less elusive than spiritual nirvana and all too infrequently does low-budget cinema ever reach the heady, vertiginous heights of the quite rightly legendary wig-splitting action apogee of idiot savant director Amir Shervan’s stupendously unsophisticated ‘Samurai Cop’. Once seen, it can never truly be unseen for reasons obscure the mind’s capricious eye remains transfixed upon certain iconic moments, usually a bungled pick-up shot or an especially fatuous line reading. This is a hysterically inept, frequently wonderful cinematic experience where all the luridly uncouth components, while poorly made, apparently fashioned without an iota of filmmaking flair or narrative coherence has miraculously coalesced into a breathtakingly delirious, abruptly hilarious, picture perfect B-Movie classic, that has so earnestly entertained thousands of trash movie-loving lunatics since it was first indifferently released in 1991, no doubt having gained a thoroughly surprising, yet massively increased cult following far greater than the technically deficient director could ever have realistically hoped for.

Blazing previously untrammelled trails like ‘Trout Mask Replica’ long before it, ‘Samurai Cop’ is maniacal manna for the misfit soul, and by all rights it shouldn’t really work, but, by jiminy-golly-cricket it certainly does just that! While ostensibly a cheap-o maverick Kung Fu cop vs. Despotic Drug Thug beat ‘em up, any similarities to being a professionally mounted film are purely coincidental as arch loony filmmaker Amir Shervan’s uniquely unconventional, frequently confrontational, triumphantly artless actioner attains monumentally bizarre levels of profound fascination with a loyal, world-wide obsessive fan base very few ‘quality’ action films will never attain.

Anti-heroes are rarely as actively ‘Anti’ as artificially leonine, steel-thewed Lothario Matt Hannon, not so much mere mortal man as an inhumanly manly, next level Yanni-looking alpha dog, and who might even dare to be nemesis to such a magnificent, multitudinously muscular, crime-busting, bra-bursting, birthday cake making Samurai sensualist? Only the uncommonly adamantine chin of the equally anthropomorphically anomalous ‘Robert ‘Maniac Cop’ Z’Dar might be rigorous enough to absorb the preternatural pugilistic prowess of pectorially perfect Hannon, since the swarthy Z’Dar along with fellow icon Richard Lynch is one of B-Cinema’s most exhilarating villains, being resolutely no less implausibly robust of mettle and freakishly mythological than the intractable iron will of the single-minded skell slayer ‘Samurai Cop’ himself! Alongside the welcome increase of depleted Dopamine levels I heartily recommend watching  ‘Samurai Cop’ for the uncommonly catchy score by unheralded tone-master general Alen Dermarderossian which is an irresistible, ear-worming wonder galaxy existing in its very own orbit of sonic delight!

The only experiences more immediately intoxicating than watching ‘Samurai Cop’ may eventually get you arrested, which would be fine and dandy if said cop proved to be majestic man-cake Matt Hannon, a good enough reason to break the law if there ever was one!  

'I'm the Quintessence of B-Movie dopeness, dude!'

'Testing pussy-phone 1-2-3 stat!!!'

'You wanna try my hair on for size, Samurai Cop?'

'Z'Dar is beheading straight to the top!'

'Are we, like, bikini buddies now?'

'Beefcake? Cheesecake? or both...it's your birthday, baby!'

'Deadly-Double ballsack grinder!! Hii-yahh!!!!'

'No body disses my cactus and lives, dawg!'

'Police chief  tearing the lawyer a new one!'

'Z'Dar is beheading straight to the top!'

    

'Samurai Copping a feel!'

'Would you like to touch what you see?'