‘The Wee Man’ (2013) – Ray Burdis.

An unlovely account over the ignominious ascent and frequent incarceration of former Glaswegian thug Paul Ferris (Martin Compston) ably directed by Ray Burdis, the filmmaker responsible for galloping, gag-laden geezer-fest ‘Love, Honour and Obey’ (2000) and markedly less amusing ‘Final Cut’ (1995) now returns to the head-butting, gut-slashing gangster milieu with variable results, since this curiously patchy, frequently inconsistent ‘true story’ colourfully depicting the bloody machinations of Paul ‘Wee Man’ Ferris makes for a predictable, altogether tepid, cliché raddled melodrama that is too much working class frothy soap and not enough bellicose B-movie clout, lacking the ludicrous, high camp antics of Zack Adler’s ‘factual’ mockney exploitation classic ‘The Rise of The Krays’ (2015) to 'Rise' the somnolent film to that of a guilty Geezeroid pleasure.

‘The Wee Man’s’ integrity is further hampered by its London as Glasgow locations, the prosaic, join-the-dots script and an incongruent cast pitifully under-equipped to enliven the flaccid prose to anything approaching wit, as the old saying goes if it ‘aint on the page it won’t engage’, and for that adamantine reason ‘The Wee Man’ remains resolutely small beer, gangster-lite fare, a far from intoxicating experience, unable to even momentarily suspend the disbelief absolutely essential to enjoy such a wholly fictionalized frippery.

On the positive side preternaturally baby-faced Martin Compston is fine and imbues Paul Ferris with momentary flashes of menace but the saccharine exchanges between his girlfriend Anne-Marie (Laura McMonogle) are truly dismal to behold, so strongly contrasted by the blazing work of solid character actor Stephen McCole it is almost as if he was mistakenly edited in from another grittier film, as his drug-raddled sluggard Jr. ‘Fat Boy’ Thompson is a lip-smacking, wallpaper-chewing treat, his hyperbolic performance as the ‘Godfather’s’ wayward, duplicitous son throwing considerable shade upon the rest of the nigh on invisible cast. But Jon Hannah (Tam Mcgraw) and Patrick Bergin (Arthur Thompson) are woefully miscast, Hannah’s enervating blandness and Bergin’s mystery meat accent the heady stuff of dubious satire, but I get the impression we are to take this bungled account of violent thug Paul Ferris’s largely misbegotten life seriously?  

I picked up the Region Free Blu-ray (Burdis!) primarily as it had been released by the usually reliable Carnaby International, already owning a goodly number of their more gonzo titles: ‘Rise of the Footsoldier’, ‘Doghouse’, ‘Assassin’, and to be fair the film transfer is remarkably crisp, some of the exteriors being especially sharp with solid if unspectacular audio. Technically the film is pretty sound and even includes a pretty righteous-looking scalping, but unfortunately the leaden prose and dour pantomime performances suffer greatly under the pitiless scrutiny of HD! 

'He's right pretty! Can I unwrap him now, guv!'

'Milky cornflakes Breakfast of Scampions!'