'Splatter University' (1984) - Richard W. Haines.

Another delightfully misfit-minded cult classic that rarely makes it onto predictably banal 'best-of 80s horror' lists, no doubt due to an innate celluloid snobbery, or a deliberate failure to recognize the stab-hungry film's monumentally maniacal merit, but the terrifically Troma-tizing effect of Richard W. Haines deliciously unwholesome, party-hearty, teat-splicingly splattery gut-spiller is in a class of its own! The horndoggin' student body gets skeevily creamed by the hallway haunting death-monger, and Goody Two-Shoes, foofy-haired faculty members get their well-educated bodies impolitely perforated by the school's equal opportunities killer, this gnarly, screw-headed rube 'ain't got time for no teacher's pet, as only the most scholastically stupefied will earn a higher degree in teen trashing terror! 

Happily, it is not only the most discerning, sordidly slasher-schooled, shower-peeping pupils who can enrol in empty-headed 'Splatter U', as this is a progressively perverse backstreet seat of low-brow learning, wherein Drive-In skeezers, back alley tweakers, B-Movie brainiacs, and lunatic asylum wall leapers are the frequently anti-social alumni! And the scurvy school motto: 'it 'ain't fun if it 'ain't dumb' remains a righteous maxim to die by!

Not long after super-foxy loxy sociology professor Julie Parker (Forbes Riley) has taken her first class, the black-hearted, lavatorially lurid, cubical creeper has gruesomely gored some teenage cooze, leaving their torn up giblets in the breeze for the bums to abuse! Ms. Parker goes steady with fellow teacher Marc Hammond (Ric Randig), but the plasma-clogged jury's still out on whether his erroneous extracurricular activities are strictly on the up-and-up, or if sinfully shifty Sir Hammond is the heroic hackmeister General of 'Splatter U'???? 

Funnier than 'Halloween', hotter than 'Hell Night', more bite than 'Prom Night', camper than 'Friday the 13th', sexier than 'Sleepaway Camp' and no less gutsy than 'Graduation Day', but, for me, 'Splatter University' remains one of the more tantalizingly trashy examples of 80s teen slashing mania, the sleaziest scream of the prom, and any ferocious fear flick with future Faith no More Guitar mangler Jim Martin as art director is gonna' diabolically deliver a most righteous shiver into that fear-jaded liver!!!   

 'No one ever cuts class at Splatter University, but the student body loses a limb once in a while!'  - Weirdlingwolf.

'Ill-bred, frequently blood red, and far from well-read, some of the very finest B-Movie maniacs matriculated from Splatter U!' - Rosalba Demented.

'Lacking Ivy League smarts, this old school 80s slasher gets an 'A' for effort, and a buxom 'B' for bodacious babes!!!' DarioLava / Gory Stories.