'I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle' (1990) – Dirk Campbell.

Faster than a 'Silver Bullet', more riotously revolutionary than 'Werewolves on Wheels', and no less terminally toxic than 'The Cars that Ate Paris', 'I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle' is demonstratively one of the most recklessly revved up, sardonically supercharged, ferociously fast-paced, wickedly warped, blood-suckingly sinister, wrong-headedly risqué, plasma pistoned, gore-guzzling, sleekly shaped, bespoke slasher films from the 1990s to singularly feature a beautifully built, crimson crazy, supernaturally souped-up, skin shredding succubus! This terminally twisted, ton-up tarmac terrorist, noisily tools up the crepuscular city streets in its rabid search to slake its savage sanguinary thirsts on any ill-prepared pedestrian, this menacingly motorized misfit eerily exsanguinating its hysterically hapless victims in a vile chocking miasma of bloody mist, bone dust, and eldritch exhaust fumes! 'I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle' is a white-knuckle, snidely slashing vampire Video Nasty, wherein this sordidly spike-wheeled, serially sin-seeking, carotid corrupting, ceaselessly blood-hungering, hate-fuelled, tanked up, twin-wheeled, maniacally monstrous, morbidly man-mangling motorcycle makes for one sleazy rider, this relentlessly rule breaking, bone-shatteringly boorish, Brummie-set B-Movie barnstormer has more coarse-power than 'Shaun of the Dead', and the luridly low brow, lower budget, high octane, fearlessly freewheeling, frequently funny horror film's greatest Boon are the locomotive, terrifically toothsome performances from telly's favourite he man hunks, Neil Morrissey, and the always fabulous Michael Elphick! The preternaturally perverse, campy vampy fang favourite 'I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle' just might drive you insane...with laughter!!!!