'10 Minutes Gone' (2019) – Brian A. Miller.

Perhaps furtively suggesting the presence of a deeper sardonic element at play here, as a woefully disinterested Bruce Willis spends much of his thankfully limited screen time muttering banalities on the phone, which might also be taken as a sly reference to the innate disposability of Bruce's last ten or so DTV 'films'. Sadly, the bemusingly prosaic 'heist-gone-south' plot cannot be remedied by the credibly earnest performance by Michael Chiklis, energetically running hither and thither like a bald headed chicken after being dazed from receiving a duplicitous doink to the dome by some treacherous, double-dealing skell. 

On a more positive note, the unrelentingly turgid text is so riddled with abject cliché it readily lends itself to a stupor-inducing drinking game wherein each tiresome trope is saluted by consuming an adult-sized libation of your choice! The bizarre admixture of angry-face Chiklis trying so hard with an utterly worthless narrative, terminally clotted with its universally cretinous characters, prosaic film-making, and the monumentally vapid Meadow Williams, who has all the beguiling charisma of my nephew's sippy cup! Her static, botox-blasted visage and equally plasticized acting not infrequently creates a singularly alien 'Tommy Wiseau' super-awkward movie miasma that is perversely compelling! Apparently said 'lead actress' paid her way into this risible actioner, frankly, I would happily have doubled her fee just to keep her freeze dried presence out! Sensible folk ought to keep well away, but bad acting junkies might get a 10-minute buzz outta Williams and the irritating Matrix-lite dingus in the sketchy sunglasses!!

'A propah sheist movie, mayte!' - TerrorTarot / BuxomBloodfiends.