'Flight of Fury' (2007) – Michael Keusch.

Even seasoned Seagallions will have long become weary of the sluggish schematics of his guilelessly generic, noughties-era, DTV shenanigans. No longer charmed by his monochromatic whispering, inscrutable hairline, vacillating waistline, and the increasingly blurry and bafflingly bungled fight scenes which are so often augmented with equally noisome, no less rudimentary gun-battles, the notably poor, weirdly arbitrary ADR, and Seagal's singularly strident fetish for overusing a stunt-double for 70% of his screen time! In the far from sleek-looking 'Flight of Fury', sensei Seagal plays 'John', a conspicuously unconvincing stealth fighter pilot, since a 300 pound, hypertensive pugilist is dangerously prone to many things, but 'stealth' sure 'aint one of 'em!

The permanently dyspeptic John Sands is broken out of a Stockade in order to capture rogue US pilot Col. Ratcher (Steve Toussaint) who has purloined a whizzo prototype stealth fighter in order that scowlingly nefarious, middle-eastern terrorists can apocalyptically drop chemical ordinance upon their imperialist enemies unsuspecting heads, thereby leading to the inevitably static, tediously one-sided dogfight betwixt the cocky, traitorous Ratcher and the bovine aviator John Sands. Seagal's action film's have little to offer the uninitiated, while 'bad movie' masochists might glean modest amusement from this malign martial artist's infamous predilection for boorish self-aggrandizement, a monolithic lack of irony, and his ferociously flappy-handed kung foolishness! Frankly, Mr Magoo would have made for a more convincing flying ace, but the 'extraordinary' Seagal is so much better at being master-of-absolutely-everything!