'The Glimmer Man' (1996) – John Gray.

Burnished, bullet-blasted 90s action classic 'The Glimmer Man' is arguably the very last intentionally funny, legitimately righteous Steven Seagal actioner. To whit: He still proudly sports his sparse, oleaginous-looking ponytail, which would very soon malevolently morph into military grade 'Gene Simmons helmet-hair'! He smiles a lot!!!??? Sensei Seagal still mischievously maintains his Buddhist, Blah-Blah, reluctant bone-breaker shtick! And there's only sporadic use of his 'patent dramatic whispering'!!!??? Unlike today, The Glimmer Man's generous budget is conspicuously heftier than Seagal's wantonly walrusing waistline! And the 'master-of-everything' shows some legit screen chemistry with his charismatic co-star, the entirely excellent, expertly bantering Keennan Ivory Wayans. Today, the plus-sized, insufferably sedentary DTV Seagal has gone full Jabba The Gut, the porcine, self-congratulatory pugilist merely squats down scowlingly, folding his sluggish meat-hooks smugly over his titanic tummy, asthmatically whispering his imagined omnipotence, while his svelte stunt double thanklessly does all the busy work! So, frankly, rewatching 'The Glimmer Man' was quite a severe shock to the system, Seagal smiles???? WTF???!! And composer Trevor Rabin's strident, chromium-sheened score is pretty rocking too! Ah! Unfortunately, there's very little in the way of comedic running, so, that omission may well prove to be a dealbreaker for those seasoned Seagallions craving some of Seagal's singularly sloppy man-stride!

'The Glimmer Man is tastier than dried deer penis...try it, you might like it!' - Weirdlingwolf / Dirty Kunst Video.