'Necromancer' (1988) – Dusty Nelson.

Uncommonly pretty blonde girl next door Julie Johnson (Elizabeth Kaitan) is violently assaulted and then later callously blackmailed by a perverse pair of juiced-up plebeians. Righteously seeking vengeance, a justifiably angered Julie is given eldritch powers by an evilly duplicitous necromancer (Lois Masten) which fatefully turns her teenage life into a living hell!!! This amusingly goofy, high camp 80s Satanic Schlocker is corporeally enlivened by the lustrous presence of curvaceous, big-haired bombshell Kaitan. Satan's Sadist Russ Tamblyn is entertainingly sleazy, and the quintessentially 80s score and delightfully rudimentary practical FX are not without their very own creakily nostalgic charms. I certainly wouldn't openly admit this in public, but I would have replied to the 'Revenge Wanted' advert, hey!!! if it's good enough for The Equalizer, it's good enough for 'The Necromancer'. I have very little doubt the makers of 'Necromancer' were quite meticulous in their research, since no Californian witch worth her saltpetre is ever seen necromancing without their very own conspicuously crimson draped, demon-infested garage!

“Whatever happens inside this room will only help to release the anger within you!”

 

 

'Law Enforcement Guide to Satanic Cults' (1994) – Devin DeHaven. (VHS).

The somewhat officious sounding title happily belies the enjoyably lurid hyperbole of mirthsome Satanic Panic herein. Law Enforcement Guide to Satanic Cults is arguably essential viewing for the (MSPC) Manic Satanic Panic Completists. Blandly hosted/introduced/talking headed by the duplicitous duo of deadly dullards Gordon L. Coulter, and ex-Satanic high priest, active mulletist Eric Pryor. This provides some exceptionally choice (SPF) Satanic Panic Footage, and a wealth of amusing quotes/misinformation, including gruesomely unsubstantiated claims of grisly torture/infanticide, and being suspended over bubbling vats of acid???!!!!! I'm nervously going to venture out into the park wherein homosexuals and Satanists furtively congregate, making sure to look out for the eerie, tell-tale Occult symbols poorly etched in chalk! It's profoundly unsavoury to witness how the reactionary producers of this abject nonsense so blithely link homosexuality and Satanism, it's quite clear their agenda is entirely suspect, in fact, they just might be dangerously degenerated cultists themselves!!!!Excitingly fuelled by some epically trashy synths, Law Enforcement Guide to Satanic Cults is hysterical, fallaciously fearmongering, gloriously unfiltered metaphysical blarney!

 

 

 

 

'Uncle's Paradise' aka Mighty extreme Woman.(2006) – Shinji Imaoka.

The exhausted, hyper-sexualised middle-aged Takashi (Shiro Shimomoto) visits his nephew Harou (Mutsuo Yoshioka) in a quaint blue-collar fishing village. Due to an increasingly eccentric, demonstratively erotic medical malady, the grossly sleep-deprived Takashi prolongs his visit which saltily provides the lurid catalyst for a number of bizarre, often hilarious, surrealistic sexual escapades! Shinji Imaoka's exhilaratingly bonkers pink comedy features a deadly spider, a rudely penis perforating viper, a welcome generosity of nookie, a demonic love hotel, reincarnation, and a gigantic mythical squid! Sexy, episodic, and deliciously mad, Uncle's Paradise doesn't make a lick of sense, but the charmingly quirky performances, and fever dream narrative proved wholly irresistible! It comes as no surprise that the exquisite Minami Aoyama won the best actress prize at the Pink Grand prix ceremony.

 

 

 

 

'People are Talking with Richard Sher'. (1988) “Satanism”

The first interview is delicious nonsense, her lurid claims are clearly such unutterable bosh, and yet, skeevey host Sher, positively slavers over each absurdly lascivious detail! The second interview was somewhat marred by the smug satanic dude's magnificent mane of hair, he was chatting dogma, but I just couldn't get past the luxurious barnet! Apparently Satan is great blah, plentiful nookie is lovely blah blah blah! and Paul didn't believe a word of the first interviewee's massively contrived story. The generically tepid priest, as ever, was a complete waste of airtime, and nary a shred of demonstrative proof was offered for all these enjoyably histrionic claims. “Satanism” with Richard Sher is spectacularly silly 80s brain melting telebox trash! They show a clip from 'The unholy' which is pretty dope of them.

 

 

 

The Devil Made Me Do It (1990) Australian TV special.

I thought it might be fun to rewatch this aggressively tabloid Australian 'expose' of 'Satanic Panic', a wholly imagined cultural malaise that appears somewhat quaint today, yet nonetheless struck an ungodly terror into 80s middle-America, and clearly Australia too. I absolutely adore these hysteria-laden pseudo-documentaries, some of the overripe footage herein is next-level comedy genius, and many of the increasingly heated exchanges are eminently quotable! The ponderous host has a brilliantly earnest, super-telegenic haircut, his crude theatrics, and disingenuous manner are frequently fun to behold! Teresa's claim that hundreds of babies were sacrificed is pure gold, and I do wonder if maestro, Chris Morris, has watched this mirthsome masterpiece of vintage televisual tripe.

 

 

 

 

'Who is Bozo Texino?' (2005) - Bill Daniel.

A hypnotically monochromatic peek into the altogether tantalizing, wholly mysterious, esoteric world of obscure Freight-Hopping Graffitists. An intriguing substratum of humanity, often colourfully expounded in Blues/folk/Bluegrass songs, but poorly understood by mainstream society. These captivating stories, and hard-earned philosophies are grittily expressed by an engaging array of charismatic individuals. 'Who is Bozo Texino?' is an excitingly mounted, visually compelling travelogue revealing the deepest thoughts, biting wit, and wily deeds of these happily indigent boxcar artisans! I massively enjoyed Bill Daniel's energizing B/W documentary, and I can happily confirm that Who is Bozo Texino? remains a pertinent question well worth the asking. It's always edifying listening to insightful interviews with rugged individualists who have taken the courageous step to forge a meagre existence beyond the increasingly oppressive confines of 'civilized society'. 

 “To be absent from society is to be on a higher plane!”