End of A Gun (2016) – Keoni Waxman.

While it's not one of my most refined attributes, I still have an unsavoury penchant for porcine, latter day Seagal DTV actioners, and to be fair, Keoni Waxman has reliably directed some of his more entertaining kill-fests. After Seagal annihilates a distractingly voluptuous femme fatale's (Jade Ewen) abusive beau, they fatefully hatch a plot to abscond to Florida with 2 million of his boss's money, which culminates bloodily in predictably bullet-shredded mayhem. End of A Gun isn't going to convert those that abhor Seagal's sledgehammer oeuvre, but I found it lively enough fare, plus Seagal's absurd predilection of playing bulletproof men of honour never fails to amuse. Some voyeuristically crane their heads at grisly traffic accidents (I don't), as others enjoy a moderately less sordid interest in Seagal's simplistic shoot 'em ups. If, like me, you sporadically ogle Seagal's lumpy body double, End of A Gun generously provides a stolid enough boggle at the husky, helmet-haired head-knocker. The text is mostly adequate, as expected, Seagal's choppy fight scenes appear amusingly inorganic, yet it must also be said that the authentically delicious Jade Ewen is a bona fide fox!

'You're either the guy hanging people from the ceiling, or you ARE the guy hanging from the ceiling!'