Cryptz (2002) Danny Draven.

'They came for the titties, and were left in itty bitty pieces!!'

When three aspiring, not altogether convincing musical artistes elect to discover sultry stripper Stesha's (Lunden De'Leon) enigmatic place of work, they all too late discover that members are not just her ardent fangs, they are denizens of an Underworld in a rather more biblical sense! Hip-Hop-inflected horror has provided grisly gems like 'Bones', and personal fave 'Leprechaun in The Hood', it is fair to claim Cryptz has shades of Vamps, but realised on a conspicuously lower budget. The dearth of invention, and prosaic production design engenders a schlocky aesthetic, which is unfortunate, as our 3 protagonists are amiable fellows, and their terrifyingly toothsome predators remain wickedly enticing Voodoo vamps!

I wasn't hugely impressed, but I righteously dug on the jacked Kung Fu-powerlord sensei Truck (Andre McCoy) his fights were clunkily orchestrated, but he's a groovy, if somewhat over earnest, fleet-fisted Vampire snuffer. The entire cast are pretty great, with the especially beauteous ladies providing some exquisitely ebony-hued exotica, distractingly delicious Stesha proving herself to be a magnificently menacing mistress of doom! Cryptz is conventional, but certainly not without fun B-Movie elements. If the otherworldly vibes of legend Kool Keith/Dr. Octagon had been an inspiration for the story, Cryptz would have been aggressively replete with the compelling weirdness it lacked.