G.B.H (1983) – David Kent-Watson.

A satisfyingly Bloody gang war is gleefully precipitated by the obtusely single-minded thuggery of Notoriously bellicose bouncer The Mancunian (Cliff Twemlow), Culminating in a bicuspid-bashing tumult of cheapnis ultra-violence. Formerly banned during the UK's reactionary splatter panic/Video Nasty debacle, David Kent-Watson's G.B.H's reputation for clunky-thumpy S.O.V savagery had given it an almost mythical cache, a conspicuously northern bar-room bloodbath that soon engendered an equally bizarre cult over its twin-fisted, slab-faced 'star' Cliff Twemlow. Cliff Twemlow is the kind of retrograde handle a 40s, wannabe Hollywood actor would have changed even before he got off the bus. Clearly an iconoclast, staunch proletariat Twemlow earnestly believed that his name and chemically-enhanced musculature would make his fortune! For all his great size, and street tough notoriety, Mr. Twemlow has a curiously lugubrious charisma, proper handy, yet dramatically exuding all the magnetism of a wet sock!

A lifetime of dully intoning 'Your name's not on the list, so you can't come in!' manifestly didn't have much of a galvanizing effect upon his monologuing skills, fortunately, the amusingly inane text proves equally rudimentary. S.O.V slug-fest G.B.H's main claim to cinematic fame is that it arguably provided the template for the popular 'Rise of The Footsoldier' franchise, Twemlow's Mancunian being a serviceable prototype for Fairbrass's psychotic hooligan Pat Tate. G.B.H remains niche, boy's own stuff, some openly adore it, and there's no earthly reason why they shouldn't, while many have yet to experience the stolid, blunt force trauma of ex-Nastie G.B.H. Simple Simon plot, happy meal text, and basic stunt choreography don't tax Twemlow's limited theatrical resources, which, no doubt, forms a major part of the film's continued appeal. I believe what muted my appreciation of G.B.H was the fact that I experienced the no less bonkers Twemlow opus 'The Eye of Satan' (1988) many years earlier.