Panic aka Bakterion (1983) – Tonino Ricci.

Horribly mutated, the hubristic professor Adams (Roberto Ricci) is driven completely insane, and proceeds to lay violent siege upon the small town in a bloody, uniquely shoddy Euro-Schlock manner. Panic has long been a gateway drug for neophyte schlock-seekers, and once exposed to this titillatingly toxic, David Warbeck/Janet Agren B-gem they are forever altered. Italy and Spain has an altogether credible history of producing winningly gruesome horror, unleashing exquisite exploitation lunacy for generations of B-movie-raddled freaks to enjoy. 'Panic' is arguably Patient Zero, the perfect splatter shitshow, the onerous dialogue, and perfunctory dubbing creates an eerily cosy familiarity, like a shot of good whiskey, or an especially libidinous woman, vintage sci-schlock is the gift that keeps on giving!

The true joy of prodigiously trashy films is that there's never any need to suspend disbelief, one is pleasurably stupefied by the disarming tomfoolery. From the 2^nd act onwards Panic feels like one of the more bucolic episodes of Pertwee-era Dr. Who, the cloddish military personnel clearly in dire need of the brigadier's steely hand! The scene in the cinema is bona fide glorious, both the music, and righteous monster-a-go-go-ing is arguably up there with Slithis. One aspect of Euro-schlock that I have always appreciated is the weird dissonances generated of intercutting between UK exteriors, and Spanish interior/exteriors, which finds its sublime apotheosis in Bakterion! Panic's sluggish pace, inane text, unabashed goofiness, and crude FX is certainly not beloved by all, but fans wouldn't have it any other way. 'In 2 minutes, we bail out!' I'm quite sure, some less enthralled viewers might care to do the same!