Rise of The Footsoldier : Origins. (2021) – Nick Nevern.

Possibly my least favourite instalment in the popular Brit-crime franchise, but Jones proved to be a surprisingly effective enforcer, and some of the cast's shonky syrups are good for a giraffe. Shrill, palpably recycled, and dramatically undernourished, but arguably worth a watch for more stalwart fans. This umpteenth iteration of The Essex Boys thug mythos frequently proved itself to be a bit pony, and I could tell something was proper sketchy by the absurd adornment of Keith Allen's count Richelieu 'stash, plus the fatigued script, puttering to its listless climax with all the rigor of a well-wankered Ford Capri didn't help. Even Fairbrass's psychotically bellicose Pat Tate furiously shit-cunting for all his worth, the uninspired Rise of The Footsoldier : Origins proved to be a pallid, and wholly unoriginal example of disposable chav-pulp.