The Beach Girls (1982) – Bud Townsend.

'Is that a salami in your pocket, or are you just pleased to see me?'

If I could do like a Hindu, and live all over again, I could certainly do a lot worse than returning as the casting director for juicy jackanapes like The Beach Girls. Needless to say, the top-popping totty casting for this salty seaside buffoonery is some of the very breast I have ever seen! Schools out! And three vivacious young ladies take over a lavish beach-fronted abode and proceed to most heartily paaaaaaaartay!!!!!!!!!! cue muchas slap sticky gags, cornball chat, and a perky panoply of hot-bodied grab-ass. Dramatically, this reads about as complex as the ingredients printed on a bottle of ionised water, but for any seeking a guilelessly voyeuristic montage of teenaged libidinous hi-jinks, The Beach Girls, like a loaded pizza, momentarily delivers the generously saucy goods. Aficionados of Crown International Pictures bawdy brand of strictly hetero hot doggin' will find little fault with this flimsy bikini-centric bacchanal of tittersome T&A, and, quite frankly, nor do I! As an aside, if you threw a rock at an 80s slasher, you'd frequently biff a goofy caretaker; is there a dedicated agency for B-movie caretakers? and if so, I'd like to congratulate them for doing an epic job of work unearthing the lawn molesting schmingus in Beach Girls! Broad, sub-Police Academy humour, with added boobies, plus the bikini-grabbing pooch from 'Malibu Beach', The Beach Girls is a good natured, low brow lark, and I can dig it!