Cape Cod Cthulhu (2025) – Mark Polonia.

Rehearsing Edgar Allan Poe's The Raven takes an inauthentic gambol into camp Gothica, after a beach discarded beach initiates a risibly cheapnis, Cthulhu-inspired end of days. Gotta be honest here, not a fan of super-clean digital video, and find cheapnis CGI absolutely lacking in the pleasing tactility, and boundless charm of low-fi practical FX. Manifesting Cthulhu on a micro-budget is asking more of the audience than the film-makers, just how much of a penuriously pixelated protagonist can one stand in one film? Analogue video is not without technical problems, but one of its greatest strengths is that it often obfuscates budgetary/FX shortfalls, whereas HD video glaringly puts it all, front and centre, and, sadly, this is not always beneficial to a credible suspension of disbelief. I may have missed something, but why does the pale stabby dude in the graveyard pointedly resemble Biff from Back To The Future? One of the film's grislier elements is the aimlessly prolonged sequence wherein the lassies butcher Poe's immortal prose, and as much as this genuinely pains me, Cape Cod Cthulhu should have remained inert, continuing its abyssal slumbering undisturbed. Episodic, anodyne, and dully written, with bafflingly tepid protagonists, possessing absolutely nothing that made 'Hallucinations' such a singular D.I.Y treat. To be fair, the location is utterly lovely, but Cape Cod Cthulhu is to Lovecraft's mythos, what Fentanyl is to continued bodily wellness. In conclusion, snarky Levi is a cutey, but the maddening mystery over Mad Axeman Biff's bloody spree remains frustratingly unresolved. The only good ending viable to Cape Cod Cthulhu is by having no beginning.