Granny : She'll love you to pieces (1999) – Boris Pavlovsky.

'is this the same hand that your granny used to pleasure herself?'

Pared to the bone indie slasher curio Granny presents the ubiquity trope of serially pranking college goof-offs having their educational processes violently truncated by a psycho in a hokey Halloween Hag mask. For my sins, I have a Pavlovskian reaction to low budget slasher clunkers like this, so I was drawn in entirely against my better judgement. If you extracted the tiresome schematic of terrorized teens diced during a collegiate beer bash, you would be brutally nixing a number of winningly schlocky slashers, along with much of the more wretched grot opportunistically produced during the downward cycle of the Slasher trend. If a cast of cretinoid non-entities being eliminated by a no less anonymous antagonist sounds doable, this largely toothless Granny provides an 1hr of dopey B-Horror brain melt. All too few slashers provide sympathetic axe-fodder, and, sadly, Granny ain't one of 'em, deservedly good riddance to these unwholesomely snarky schmoes! Technically competent, rather than inventive, performances are blandly functional, and the formalised text fails to put much-needed pep into this ailing Granny basher, but the crudimentary, conspicuously meaty gore-blasting is pretty neat. I wouldn't presume teaching Granny to suck eggs, since this doddering Granny sucks like a boss!!!!The solely horrific element herein remains the Tie-wearing nerk's egregiously striped trews! In conclusion, Granny: She'll Love you to Death is an axedentally amusing goober-fest, but ultimately has all the staying power of a Styrofoam Sippy Cup.