'Ratman' (1988) - Giuliano Carnimeo.

One of Italian horror's deliciously dingy 80s chunkblowers features an indelibly f'd up, diabolically diminutive, lavatory lurking, wholly distasteful deathdealer! No doubt for good reason, it's never made quite clear what's to be gained by creating such an uncommonly foul looking, relentlessly maniacal monkey/rat hybrid? Scientific shits & giggles, possibly? Ignoring the questionable science, I still greatly enjoy the rabidly carnivorous inclinations of this murderous little Monkrat! The grotty mise-en-scene of Ratman heightens the splendidly sordid pleasures herein, like Anthropophagus, the nihilistic/downer aesthetic forms a large part of its splattery allure. The entertainingly lurid plot has Giallocentric tendencies, with handsome amateur sleuths Janet Agren and David Warbeck trying desperately to unravel the macabre mystery of these increasingly bizarre crimes. While no one considers the fact that a retainer and a manicure would have effectively neutralized this poisonous dwarf, there's something ineffably horrid about its disturbing predilection for suddenly darting out of the glooms and chewing your phooken face off! Stefano Mainetti Casio-tastic score is a triumph, voluptuous screamer, Eva Grimaldi is hotter than a Mexican breakfast, and I sincerely feel that this hateful, handbag hiding hybrid should have spawned a number of increasingly wretched sequels! I am aware that Ratman's appeal is far from universal, but this uniquely miniaturized maniac is worth a hundred lumbering Voorhees clones.

'Kiss of the Tarantula (1975) - Chris Munger.

'I woz a pretty F'd up kid, I never felt shame by all the bad stuff I did, the goriest roadkill flipped my lid, and my very first love was a fuzzy-assed arachnid!'

'One fine day I met a pale girl with hair like honey, and when she smiled her crooked smile, my tummy jumped kinda funny! On our first date she kissed me so deeply it knocked me out cold like  a kiss from a tarantula!'

 'Iron Angels 2' aka 'Fighting Madam 2'(1988) – Teresa Woo.

Heroic bloodshed, bravura stunts, and equally balletic martial artistry combine explosively in Teresa Wong's pyro-maniacal 80s HK actioner 'Iron Angels 2'. Fearlessly fighting trio Alex Fong, Elaine Lui, and Moon Lee are holidaying in exotic Kuala Lumpur when they uncover a conspiracy to violently overthrow the Malaysian government. As our heroically ass-kicking agents bravely engage the enemy there's certainly no shortage of questionable humour, wig searingly wild pyromania, ferociously fleet fight scenes, and gloriously gory bullet blasted mayhem! An audacious, non-stop adrenaline-soaked thrill-fest, 'Iron Angels 2' most spectacularly delivers the action goods! The inimitable Iron Angels must call upon their fearsome fight skills to thwart vile communist nemesis Peter and avert a brutal terrorist uprising! Teresa Woo saves the very best for last as majestic martial arts madam Moon Lee's climactic fight is a Bobby Dazzler, and the jacked-up jungle battle remains a bloodthirstily body bag stuffing bonanza of machine-gunning carnage!

'Kung Fu Fever' aka 'Jeongmujibo'. (1979) – Kim Si-Kyun.

'Kung Fu Fever' is arguably the apex of luridly cobbled together chop Schlocky exploitation that pirated Bruce Lee's indomitable fighting legend. Wholly disposable plot finds a colourful assortment of conniving martial art hoodlums conspiring to steal Bruce Lee's much coveted 'Finger Technique manual, and it is largely down to muscular Kung Fu dynamo Dragon Lee to prevent them! Undeniably shoddy film-making is sweetly leavened by plentiful skull-cracking action, and charismatic Karate Chopper Dragon Lee is, once again, on truly exhilarating form! Highlights include some solid Ron Van Clief beat-downs, flamboyant mart art motocross prowess, exceedingly rare usage of the deadly 'Nut Cracker' fist, an enjoyably greasy funk score and, most importantly, no shortage of sinewy skell slayer, Dragon Lee!!!

'Deathmoon' (1978) – Bruce Kessler.

Handsome, overworked businessman Jason Palmer(Robert Foxworth) repeatedly experiences the same disturbingly vivid nightmare. Hoping to ease his increasing anxiety, Jason takes a seemingly idyllic Hawaiian holiday, whereupon these diabolical dreams become a monstrous reality! It's pretty talky fare, but the performances are solid, Paul Chihara's score is quality, and the attractive Island location provides an appealingly exotic backdrop for Foxworth's toothsome tiki terror tactics. An amusing little goosebump-maker, these moonlit lycanthropic shenanigans kinda felt like a fun Hawaii 5-0 Halloween special, which is Dandy by me, and I really dug on the old school make up FX. The lack of gore, and Foxworth's bracingly snug speedos may put some folk off, but, if you are Werewolf/tight buns groupie like me, Bruce Kessler's 'Deathmoon' is a more than watchable Hawaiian Howler!!!

 'Zero Tolerance' (1994) – Joseph Merhi.

Traumatized FBI agent (Robert Patrick) goes fully rogue, righteously assassinating the bosses of a powerful drug cartel that cold-bloodily executed his family. The bullet-blasted, generously action-packed 'Zero Tolerance' is a thrillingly violent, hugely satisfying, vengeance-fueled shoot 'em up from 90s DTV action maestros PM Entertainment. Robert Patrick's ice-pick gaze, steely personality and bodacious coif greatly elevates Zero Tolerance to one of zesty action director Merhi's very best pyro-maniacal, slo-mo savvy, squib-fests!

 'Bruce Takes Dragon Town' aka Shui gan deng wo. (1974) - Dir. Hung Sheng Liu.

Perhaps, not ideal fare for the hoity toity 4K cognoscenti, but avid old school chop socky fiends are sure to get a righteous kick out of this entertaining, wall-to-wall 70s Kung Fu fest! Those seeking nuance may wish to inspect their respective navels, and fight fans who could appreciate the relentlessly rapid fire martial artistry of good guy Daredevil Alan should give 'Bruce Takes Dragon Town' a shot. Dramatic/comedic interludes are enticingly minimal, while brutal acts of steel-fisted vengeance are deliriously dialed up to 11, and the bellicose quarry-set climax is a propah banger!!!!!! High points for me are the novel usage of Taxi Driver themes, the singular lack of slapstick silliness and the rad skipping rope scene!