Wednesday, February 10, 2021

 ‘La guerra del ferro’ aka ‘Iron Master’ (1983) - Umberto Lenzi.

A mercurial movie metallurgist of no small repute, the maniacal minister of blood-thirsty B-Movie mayhem, Umberto Lenzi lends his singularly sinister skill set to temper the steel-thewed, furry-arsed, sabre-toothed majesty of this hysterically unhistorical primordial romp, ‘La guerra del ferro’  aka ‘Iron Master’ (1983). Set during our planet’s most unflinchingly savage and blood-thirstiest chapter, where we bear uncomfortable witness in gruesome, Technicolor detail primitive man’s brutal ascent to dominance, a ceaselessly cruel and violent rite of passage, wherein monstrous, mammoth-sized beasts laid constant siege upon an unforgiving land, where the terrible rigours of day-to-day survival fashioned fierce men and women of an uncommonly robust mettle, but in order to rise victorious and finally become king, it would take one no less vaunted than an Iron Master! - ‘Iron-willed Warrior Kings are not weaned on milk and honey in gilded, cloistered halls of privilege; they are forged in the ferociously distempered furnace of total war!’

'I'm gonna take that boom-stick and open up ya' mommy's cleft palate!'
 







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