'Inanimate' (2015) – Alec Gillis.

A majestically grizzled-looking, Lance Henriksen plays, Graff, the crabby captain of the doomed fishing trawler Harbinger currently tasked to track some elusive migrating whales. Not long after a thickly ice-encrusted, badly scorched Soviet lunar Module is hauled aboard, the increasingly fractious sailors grimly discover that they are NOT alone!!! as an aggressively malign, macabrely mutating alien parasite proceeds to do its sinister, species splicing 'Thing' to the Harbinger's gruesomely overwhelmed crew! 

Granted, the derivative text lacks invention, the charismatic, Henriksen is wholly credible, and the appealingly gloopy, polymorphous practical FX arguably make, Alec Gillis's bracing throwback horror, 'Inanimate' one of the more dynamic contemporary Creature Features. I have always been strongly drawn to subzero-set splatter, and Inanimate's gorily body-morphing B-Movie behemoth proved animated enough for me! While I'd be ashamed to admit it in polite company, Henriksen deliciously deadpanning the line, 'We're gonna need a bigger bucket!' certainly made me giggle at the time!

'Inanimate's subzero-set Sci-splatter shenanigans floats my B-Movie boat, dude!' - Finneas Flange the Ferociously Fapping Fink.

'The slime slathered breeding cycle of this bilge-sucking space critter put me right off my Sushi Roll!!!!!' - Philomena Fellatio / Salon Titty.