Thursday, November 30, 2023

'General Commander' (2019) - Phillipe Martinez / Ross W. Clarkson.

Following the inevitable demise of a valued member of Seagal's 'elite' protogenetic crew, the whale of whupass sources 5 million bucks from some hatchet-faced bint to revenge his fallen comrade. Thusly armed, Alexander's rogue, meticulously buff crew go hard after groomed organ trafficking gangster, Gino Orsetti (Edoardo Costa). General Commander's slender running time proves welcome, since there's very little physical combat, two brief, unexciting bouts with sluggish, salami-sucking slugger, Seagal, some serviceable slo-mo vehicular carnage, predictably cornball text, mediocre Thesping and some bizarrely ostentatious globe-trotting. To be fair, I didn't hate it as much as I should, as there's suitably splashy squibbage, decent gun-toting totty, and one gruesomely gratuitous throat slashing!

Even the staunchest Seagalians have baulked at much of the conspicuously corpulent Sensei's exclusively sedentary DTV output. While the meals are getting bigger, the ideas are diminishing as the formulaic 'General Commander' is due a severe action court-martial! Steven Seagal plays whispery C.I.A. maverick, Jake Alexander, with the same monotonous foldy-hands inertia as all his other vengeful Black Ops OAPs. I can't in good conscience recommend this prosaic, poorly edited DTV shoot 'em up to lovers of refined cinema, as the rampantly artless suckage is omnipresent. Hardened bad film masochists, B-Movie banshees, and HUGELY forgiving Seagalians are duly warned to approach this unlovely DTV bullet-fest with caution!

 







 

 

 

 

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