Vampyre (1990) – Bruce. G. Hallenbeck.

'Everybody is going to enjoy the taste of blood tonight!'

The persistently wan David Gray (Randy Scott Holzer) is a self-confessed wanderer, and following the Vampirization of his younger sister, he piously adorns himself with a cumbrous, home-made crucifix, and avails himself of the stalwart business of righteous vampire slaying. Vampyre almost immediately divorces itself from any vestige of congruity, offering schlock-seekers a low-budget, dubiously acted, synth-heavy, intermittently hilarious, chaff-laden vampire romp. While the atmospherically wintry rural backdrop has a certain bucolic authenticity, the dime-store schmutter, turgid text, and wildly oscillating levels of acting credibility engenders a deliriously am-dram quality that I found strangely irresistible. Should anyone care to know what an Andy Milligan opus would look like sans his inimitable dialogue, and deliciously eccentric characters, Vampyre is watchable Milligan-lite bosh, but is tiny taters compared to the real megillah!

It must also be noted that the stridently synthetic, innately 80s score does its very best to accentuate the ultimately enjoyable goofiness of Vampyre. This earnest indie horror is raddled with anachronisms, stolid Vampire hunter Gray is garbed like a prototypical Roswell-era Man In Black, and the female cast members rock chic hair, make-up, and slinky lingerie is palpably more J.C Penney than E.A. Poe! While any sense of period verisimilitude, and suspension of disbelief is resolutely nil, it is Vamprye's prodigious inauthenticity that proves so bloody entertaining! Vampyre has an essentially kooky quality that distances itself greatly from many equally low budget indie horrors of the day. Perky plasma vamp Girl in Cape (Elisabeth Carstens)is a delectable minx to whom I would gladly donate a pint, or 3 of good claret to perpetuate her vulpine reign of terror!