The Girl Who Wore Yellow Lace (2024) – Mark Polonia.

'Don't eat the Giallo snow!!!!!'

Excitingly signed up to a palpably shady model agency Ariana's (Alyssa Paige) future initially appears prosperous, until a sinister stalker casts a blackened shadow of fear over her sordidly overexposed 'model' life. Some of Gialli's more savoury ingredients are stylised lighting/fluidic camerawork, naked Euro-starlets, exhilarating soundtracks, and sensationally bloody kills are frustratingly absent in The Girl Who Wore Yellow Lace. While it is relatively simple to ape the artworks of the period, it is far less straight forward reimagining the sumptuous, prodigiously glamorous visual aesthetic of the late 60s/early 70s, and Polonia's modest budget proves a hindrance to making The Girl Who Wore Yellow Lace a credible neo-Giallo. I must hereby openly confess, Ariana's blatant inability to do but one convincing push-up got me feelin' a wee bit stabby myself!

Pretty Ariana is a saftig enough Fräulein, and the pablum text, amateurish performances, persistent lapses into goofiness, happily, provides unintentional jocularity. The Girl Who Wore Yellow Lace's overall tone is flat, and colourless, prosaically mounted on HD video, and curiously lacking any of the bravura sleaze, and scintillatingly sanguinary mayhem of the Gore-blasted Gialli of yore. The lugubrious 'Biff' lookalike turns up, and he proves good for a few smirk-some interludes, but it is entirely just to claim that the laboured Giallic content in The Girl Who Wore Yellow Lace felt contrived. Opting for a unique twist on a period Gialli, all the female protagonists herein keep their skimpies on, which wouldn't have made Lenzi or Fulci very happy, can't say it did much for me either. I did nonetheless enjoy the plug for a Home Essential Giallo-ready knife, which makes a winning change from J&B whiskey!