'Shark Attack' (1999)  - Bob Misiorowski.

South African Shark Attack movies rock!!!!

 

It has to be said that Casper Van Dien is on handsomely heroic form in part 1. I always thought that there was something fishy 'bout CGI fishes, so it's kinda dishy to see some real fishies! (sadly, there are a few in part2)'Some fin is very wrong with these sharks!' It goes without saying that chum shark movies are better than others! In these Great White infested waters, it's gill or be killed! 3 puns for the price of one! BOOM!!!!!!

 

 

'Zombie Flesh Eaters' (1979) - Lucio Fulci.

Lucio Fulci's 'Zombie Flesh Eaters' rocks!!!!!!!!

The gnarliest splatter FX are old school, to stop a flesheating zombie, the headshot remains a golden rule! Scuba diving babe, Auretta Gay makes me drool, sharks fighting zombies is cool, but the healthcare really sucks on Matul!

 

 

 

 

Snowkissed 2021 - Jeff Beesley.

Pretty Manhattanites, neurotic writer Kate (Jen Lilley), and her more gregarious photographer friend Jayne (Amy Groening) are on assignment to picturesque Banf to interview a reclusive author. Upon arrival in this snowpeaked paradise the inevitably cutsey love-matching is above average. The likeable performances are engaging, with an enjoyably effervescent text, and the dazzling winter wonderland backdrop of beautiful Banf provide wonderful distractions. It's somewhat unusual for a glossy Hallmark romcom to be almost entirely cheese free, Snowkissed feels far less synthetic, as there's a tangibly unforced charm to these handsome couple's amorous coupling. I enjoy the sugary, glutinous sentimentality of Hallmark fare, but Snowkissed's life affirming positivity is edifying. The dazzling natural splendour of Banf is no small part of the film's appeal, and Kate and Noah's (Chris McNally) grand gesture is quite lovely!

'Soul Survivors' (2001) - Steve Carpenter.

I watched this for all the right reason, Eliza Dushku! I'd happily file this under Hallmark horror, as it is a moderately spooksome romantic metaphysical chiller. I pretty much dug most of it, the nu metal/pop industrial soundtrack worked for me, and the occasional 'ohhhh! What's going on 'ere then? Moments maintained my interest. Dushku rocks consistently, I certainly didn't buy Luke Wilson as a priest, and moody Wes Bentley is surly/frowny for much of the duration. The final lachrymose scene is mawkishly written, but it didn't get in the way of Dushku rocking pretty hard in all her scenes!  You could deffo watch Soul Survivors with your nan.

Blood Moon (1997) - Tony Leung Siu-Hung.

Gary Daniels is a muscular, rudimentary actor whose limited dramatic capabilities are boldly contrasted by his exemplary martial artistry. Bloodmoon is another violent iteration of the maniacal kung Fu killer, happily, I happen to have a yen for maniacal kung Fu killers! The exhilarating fights are plentiful and brutally executed, while the plot and dramatic content are less meticulously rendered.

Frank Gorshin unleashes one of the more noisome, memorably hypertensive police chiefs, Chuck Jeffreys' conspicuous Eddy Murphyisms prove distracting, with Gary Daniels tortured profiler about as convincing as John Wayne's Genghis Khan. Death-dealing dynamo Darren Shalavi's masked psychotic pugilist remains one next level, ferociously femur fracturing fiend! I can't imagine that Bloodmoon is widely regarded as a cult film, but the singular acting choices, dismal dialogue and compellingly kinetic combat elevates Bloodmoon to a higher echelon DTV thrill-spiller, and should you appreciate an overwrought rooftop climax, this one's a doozie!

'Sweet As Maple Syrup' (2021).

Pretty blonde Brooke Nevin's glisters in this enjoyably sappy Rom com about passionate Maple Syrup producer (Nevins) who reluctantly hires handsome 'forensic tree expert' Dr. Derek (Carlo Marks) in order to increase her sticky yield of nature's yummiest nectar. As expected, the rocky road to gloopy romance reinforces the indomitable Hallmark coda of 'opposites ALWAYS attract'. Beloved family businesses will be saved, and everything tastes better with maple syrup, even small town sentimental schmaltz like 'Sweet as Maple Syrup. As an aside, I admire how open the professor is about his micro sprinkler, the perfect tool for shallow drilling!

Wicked World (1991) Barry J. Gillis.

Spawned from the same tweaked mind as Canadian horror cult 'Things', resembling  the madly misanthropic progeny  of H.G Lewis's The Gore Gore Girls',  Barry J. Gillis's similarly warped follow-up is no less unhinged!  The appropriately monikered 'Wicked World' is lurid proof positive that gratuitous violence, gratuitous nudity, gratuitous narration and gratuitous tan lines are NEVER gratuitous!  Driven incandescently mad by a searing hatred of mankind, drenched in downbeat delirium, the deliciously demented death-spree of this sinisterly storytelling serial killer are not soon forgotten! 

Weirdly, the shoestring budget merely tightens the addictive mania of this gloriously wrong-headed mindfuck! Having all the dramatic nuance of an improvised school nativity play, like an especially gruesome car-wreck, 'Wicked World' proves morbidly irresistible, one is compelled to watch! Suspending disbelief simply won't cut it, to more fully experience the apocalyptic sensibilities of 'Wicked World', viewers must be willing to temporarily detach themselves from reality! Accept the unacceptable, digest the indigestible, and fathom the unfathomable,  like culinary eccentricities laverbread, and surstromming, 'Wicked World' is, perhaps, an acquired taste!